~Kiksta~ My Life: A Beautiful Struggle

Minor Update

2006-09-03T17:31:00.000+02:00

I practiced to deepthroat with a corncob today... Needless to say, I gagged.

Now, I didn't plan on DT'ing said corncob. I was eating one and got curious if it'd go down like that...

Gimme enough time and the proper tools (*giggle attack*... *tool*) and it'll pass.

Now, isn't that way better than having to hear that I'm having a hard (second *giggle attack*... *hard*) time learning for my oncoming maths exam?

Cry Them A River

2006-08-16T21:03:00.000+02:00

Right now,there's a HUGE trend in Asia:

Korean Dramas (Or Do-Ra-Mas, as I call them, as its the japanese way of saying it.)

Especially one drama is immensely popular: Daejanggeum or also known as "Jewel In The Palace" in its english title.

Story? Typically Asian. A promising girl who works as a cook in the royal palace and gradually becomes the emperors personal physician. The trouble? Tons of 'em. There's those people who don't want women to become successful and then there are those who specifically don't want her to become successful.

Verdict? Never watched it.

Might possibly be because it is one of the many things that directly appeal to an Asian Audience. My parents watch a lot of Asian TV, might it be chinese tv series (*bleh*), korean or japanese doramas (*bleh*). There's one binding factor I find remarkable: The girls cry their eyes out. Everywhere! It's like they try to save the world from dehydration with their tears! Everytime I enter the livingroom, I hear yet another girl cry. Down, Down, Down the face those tears roll. It might not really be the global warming that cause the continents to slowly sink into the ocean. But why do they cry? And why don't I understand their tears?

I used to believe that those girls cried due to the usual reasons, you know... mean girls talking bad about them, men laughing about them, jealous people spoiling their success... you know, usual stuff. Today, my dad told me another reason why they cry: Because someone tried to talk bad about her, the girl tries her best to prove herself in the eyes of the emperor and the others. *blah*blah*blah* As she could convince her surroundings that she IS, indeed, the good one, she cries out of happiness as they realized her talent.

And then it struck me! That's why I don't understand that crap!

These girls from those numerous sad sad, whiney whiney TV series express their happiness and sadness in situations where my brain would either cause me to say:

"Oh, doggyassfuck that bunch of baloney, am I supposed to care about their chit chat?"

or

"Uh DUH! It took you to so long to realize how good I am? Screw you, bitchfuckwhores!"

Is it my mentality that totally blocks these TV series' content from sinking into me? How different is my mentality to that of an average asian teen in his early 20's? Is it due to my westernized upbringing that I couldn't care less about those ambitions that those TV cooks/writers/princesses/professional criers show?

I seriously don't know, as I don't really have people to compare with. You know, the old story about me not hanging out with Asians, *blah*

Although I do believe that I might get my chance to figure these things out, once I'm moving to Asia...

Yes, this tent can cook! And in case you need some water, just do her any injustice and she'll turn into a walking hydrant.

About Ken Hirai

2006-07-23T23:48:00.000+02:00

Just got his latest single (Bye My Melody) and..... regarding "those rumors", i think they shouldn't be rumors anymore...

I mean, read through the lyrics from the last two songs: (got them from the cherryblossom garden)

"Day after day my hearts beat with joy
as I jump over rainbow
Hiding in my trunk is the melody that
binds together our encounter and seperation"

.... trunk? Hiding?

From the prior single "Pop Star"

"I wanted to hide in darkness
and have you pick up me gently
If I’m imporatant to you,
then hold me tight
I keep walking this road, towards the light"

Come On! If that isn't the typical "Meet the guy of your life who faces you to come out" situation.

Also from the lyrics to "hug" (the b-side to Bye My Melody), it's clear to see that Hirai is pretty much in love. Which is cute.

....

Excep for the fact that this bitch is the hottest piece of asian man meat I've ever seen and that I want him all to me! hehehe...

check that out:

That Shit Is hoT!

Yawn

2006-07-20T18:45:00.000+02:00

Oh man... s'been a while since I wrote something substantial in this blog.

So, a quick round up:

I graduated from High School!
It was the craziest time ever, especially since I had to hand in 3 portfolios in three subjects, and honestly, that's the hardest part for me. I'm good with momentary work, but suck at stuff that I can take my time in, as I will unevitably use and waste all the time we were given to produce that work. And I only passed my final oral exams because my dear friend Nicotina ( still remember her?) stuffed as much knowledge as possible into my feeble brain.

F. U. N.... really.
I've been to Kos, Greece.
Which rounds up my travelling in this year to a total of *counts with his fingers*... 4 different countries on two different continents. Not bad I'd say.

I got to achieve a great tan.

It's on the edge of being a chino-negro, but that's fine with me. And no (noteworthy) sunburn! (strangely enough, only my inner left thigh was burnt...)

Kos is quite pretty

While i look totally faggy on this one (i never knew my rear view looks so gay!)

The daily schedule went as such:

*Waking up at 1200.

*Rushing down to the restaurant, as the buffet style lunch is only served until 1300.

*Lying back down into the bed to digest the food. OR Pack our bags with sunscreen, towel and the like.

*Go to the pool, take a dip, lie down next to the pool to get tanned. OR Go to the beach, take a dip, shower the salt water away, lie down to get tanned.

*Wake up all heated up, realize it's time to turn around (there's nothing more riduculous than being half tanned...)

*Wake up when the sun starts to set. Take another dip. Shower.

*Dinner. That crappy buffet at our hotel served everything in a puddle of oil, with the meeat sauce for our pasta having a slightly sweet and cinnamonny taste. It bares mentioning that I didn't touch the pasta for the whole week.

*Digest.

*Getting dressed up to hit the bars downtown.

*FREE SHOTS! FREE SHOTS! STRIPPER POLES! (There's a video documenting my hooker worthy dance... no, you'll NEVER see that video.) MORE FREE SHOTS! COCKTAILS! FREE SHOTS!

*Late night snack at a local fast food store called "Goodys". They are awesome. A fast food store that sells pasta? Loves it.

*FREE SHOTS! FREE SHOTS! RUBBING PUBIC AREA ON CUTE GUYS WHO APPROACH! FREE SHOTS! FREE SHOTS!

Nicotina will summarize our activities in the late night:

*Realizing it's 0300/0400/0500. Hail a cab home.

*Fall into the bed.

*Repeat.

Busy schedule as you can see.

Needless to say, I got myself 3 more bottles of Absolut when I came home to relive the good times.

Ahh.... vodka.

Gayest Cologne Ever!

2006-07-19T14:11:00.000+02:00

Check this out:

Bond No. 9's press release tells us:

"Fire Island is an experiential scent - the beach equivalent of Proust's madeleine dunked in tea. In this case, the memories conjured up are the sights, the touch, the smell of soaking up the sun the old-fashioned way - lying naked, or close to it, on the beach. We know, we know: Those UV rays aren't safe. So we thought, why not approximate the smell of skin in the sun, and recapture the bronzing sensation within the safety of a scent? To make Fire Island authentic, we took a risk and summoned forth the distinctive spicy-sweet aroma of the most sought-after of vintage Euro-bronzing oils - whose iconic smell has wafted all across the Mediterranean, summer after summer, for decades, defining the body on display, with its daydream hints of sex on the beach. Even when savored at a respectable distance, Fire Island is a reminder of skin sniffed up close.

This scent's barrier-island namesake, 90 minutes from Manhattan by train and ferry, is the hideaway where New Yorkers come in droves to let their hair down and uncover their skin. Fire Island may be made of sand dunes, but it¹s got distinctive New York-esque neighborhoods (Kismet ... Saltaire ... Atlantique), a heavy-duty night-life, shopping (natch), and a history, in the 1920s, as a Bohemian retreat. In other words, it¹s home not too far away from home. So it's a legitimate part of our scent repertory."

Now, if you call a cologne "Fire Island", most people won't think of what these people say. All they can think of is naked male bodies writhing on the sandy dunes and Lucas Entertainment porn.

Geez, what's next? The Village? Castro? Disney World?

Smart

2006-06-02T21:57:00.000+02:00

I always find it funny when people call me smart. I mean, I try to pose myself as the biggest moronic piece of dork-poo, and yet people want to call me smart/intelligent.

Is it my use of big words?

Do I surround myself with an aura of intelligence?

Do I look geeky???

I sure hope not! All those years studying fashion mags and ending up looking like a geek, what a waste of time!

What qualifies me as a smart person. This is a serious question. I'd like to know!

Go on! Tell me!

Kids & Porn

2006-04-15T23:24:00.000+02:00

It happened. I can't believe it, but it happened.

While browsing my History on Opera (my browser of choice!!!), I found that someone has been looking for:

Vagina

Man and woman fuck

Nacked Woman

Sexy Woman

Woman Porno

etc, etc...

Well, knowing that *I* haven't looked for stuff like that lately, (and even if I would (would I ever?) I'd be smarter than use the image search function of Google) I was struck with a development that is entirelly against my will:

My two lil' brothers are getting into their adolescensce.

It's literally SO SAD!!!

These two boys are my baby boos, my filthy lil' piggies, my pequenos estupidos! And not young teens who will grow up, get a life and such.

In my mind, they were always supposed to be small and cute and innocent. (Trust me, I don't use term like the F-Word in front of my lil' ones, not even the S-Word or the A-Word. I'm very protective when it comes to my brothers.)

It's just so hard for me to finally having to realize that they too are sexual beings, who will one day develop sexual needs and the such.

Just the thought of it alone is enough to make my heart break!!!!

They are so lil'!!!!! They are my baby boos!!!!! My Estupidos!!!!!!!!!

I'd cry, but I'm just struck speechless!

And you know the worst thing???

Those search items were embedded between "Dinosaur" "Alien" and "Dragon Ball Z". It's SOOOOOO sad! It's like, Porn embedded between childhood stuff!!!!

What's happening to this world???

My lil's are still so.... little! They should be... watching Teletubbies and play Pokémon and chase other kids while playing some innocent games!

And not chasing after girls!

Why do kids grow up so fast and do this to their guardians?

It's SOOOOOOO SAD! SADNESS! REAALLY!

Absolute Sadness!

It's Ma Birthday!

2006-03-15T22:58:00.000+01:00

Yo Ho's!

S'Ma B-Day!

I'm turning 20, and see it as a perfect opportunity to become even more immature, to simply counterbalance my growing age. I mean, it's 20, Twenty, like, a 2 and a 0. I'm OLD!

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

Maybe chewing on some foreskin would help..... I mean, not just chewing... you know, all that stuff one does with the mouth... "Stuff", ya know!

I just found out that I share the same birthday like Eva Longoria. You know, that sassy, hot latina from "Desperate Housewives". She's pretty...

And this chick's pretty too!

I'd date her just to see her being furious with me. She's HOT!

But maybe I should wait til my midlife crisis really kicks in to get such hot chicks. Won't take long though. When does a midlife crisis start? 22? 24?

Ugh, I can feel those grey hairs slowly emerging from my scalp.

Now, where's my dark sun glasses and anti-wrinkle cream?

Popularity - Not

2006-03-06T23:19:00.000+01:00

I know I've done this topic before already, about popularity in school and amongst teenagers. But I just got a nudge after watching the latest episode of "One Tree Hill", yet another one of those teenage tv series, where things go wrong all the time, one sleeps with the wrong person and the cast who plays the teens ain't so much younger from the cast who play their parents. (The age thing in "The O.C." is ridiculous!)

But episode 16 of season 3 dealed with a situation that is becoming quite too common lately in highschools. A kid comes to school with a gun to get revenge with all those people who bullied him and treated him like shit, when they would realize that he was there.

Now, don't get me wrong. The episode (available for download at ONETREEHILL.NET under the download section.) is well written, the actors are doing a great job (James Lafferty! James Lafferty! James Lafferty!!!!! For goodnesses SAKE! James Lafferty!!!). But I missed the initial goal of the killer character. When he takes some fellow students hostage, we don't find out what he wants.

He's got pain in his heart because the situation hurts so bad.

Check.

He feels like shit.

Check.

He's sick of being unpopular.

Check.

And the point is?

There are people everywhere who feel like that. People who feel like they don't belong. And it IS wrong to center people out. But, the whole thing is totally going two ways! If you don't love yourself, noone will love you. If you let a few bitches in school get your self-esteem below zero, it's your own fucking fault! So? Some thugs and jocks at school beat you up cause they say you're a sissy? Yo, fuck them! Don't show them your weakness. People like this, prey, I tell you, PREY on that fear and the knowledge to hit your weakness. PREY!!!

Give the world attitude! Show 'em who you are! You got to EARN respect, not get it spoonfed!

The line that was killing me in it was:

Popular Girl: I'm sorry I don't know you.

Not so popular Girl: It's alright. I know you.

UH! What da fuck? What do they take this world for? One big group hug? Should it be one gigantic circle of "Kumbaya"? Cause, if it's supposed to be like that, it's not gonna happen. What do they want from us? We can't go out and love and be friends with everybody, totally as in EVERYBODY.

It's a nice try, but when you don't show enough love and respect for yourself, noone will.

We can never know everyone. And it's just natural that people talk to people they deem interesting. And everyone can get interesting. Everyone really.

Seriously, I could keep on ranting for DAYS!!!

Beijing

2006-02-08T10:44:00.000+01:00

Yup. I'm in China. It's fun to know I just visited places most people would never get to in their whole life, hehe *evil-grin*

Just today I went shopping in some underground mall (cause, appearantly, building skyscrapers everywhere ain't enough anymore), asking around for an iPod case made out of "Coochie Leather"... which is chinese for "Gucci Leather". Imagine the madness! Imagine all those females, robbed of their femality for some handbags, shoes and iPod cases made out of "Coochie Leather"!

And I know you want one, right?

Anyways, I'll write some more when I'm save n back in Austria and give some impressions to you poor souls who'll never know the pleasure to freeze your cute power bottoms off in this shittily (is that even a word?) cold town called Beijing.

London

2006-01-23T12:41:00.000+01:00

I've been in London yesterday the first time of my life. It was, how do they say, 'lovely'. There's loads of cute guys with a really really really cute accent going on (except for those few to bring their accent over the edge, which quite frankly is not so charming. The cutest encounter I had though was a really cute Australian surfer boy I saw on the plane to London. So HOT! I love surfers!

Their tan, their relaxed attitude, their accent...mmmhhh... I could go on for days!

So, back to London. I didn't get to see a lot of it, basically nothing at all, because my BFAM (Brother From Another Mother)'s cell-phone broke, making him unreachable for the whole day. I DID manage to meet him though, thanks to e-mails. Ain't modernity great? I wanted to stay longer, but because of scholary obligations, I could only stay for one day, basically living off 4 hours of sleep from Saturday to Sunday, getting up at 5, arriving in London at 9 and leaving the town at 8. No sleep really. Usually I'm a total bitch when I don't get my needed minimum of 6 hoursof napping time, but it was better than that one time my parents woke me up after only 1 1/2 hours of sleep while we were in China.

I saw: Piccadilly Circus, cute guys, Leicester Square, cute guys, China Town, not so cute guys (I don't swing for asian, XD) and some more streets of London. Not to mention cute guys!

I don't know what it is, but this city breeds 'em very well. A lot of closely shaved heads (which is SOOO good, simply because it feels good to go over it with the hand) and great style. I totally understand people who go for that cute british accent.

Downpoint is that I'm sick now, given the fact that planes in general overdo their A/C's to death.

*cough-cough*sneeze-sneeze*

Ugh, better now.

I hope I'll see more of London some time soon! Especially in summer, when it's warm and I don't look like the Michelin mascot with my huge A&F down jacket. Not to mention that I'd like to see more of some cute brits... (and aussies!!!)

Handjob

2006-01-08T21:41:00.000+01:00

You know, if you take stuff apart in your mind, it's easy to make it resemble something totally else. Like, during one of my many Starbucks sessions (if their stocks don't go up, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I think I've spent as much money as the GDP of a small country on Starbucks beverages in the past few years!) I was thinking around the idea of a good ol' handjob. A wank. Stroking the snake, salami or pulling a CB with his beast of a wood... that cutie ;).

Mind you. I wasn't directly thinking about a handjob (at least not in a coffeeshop filled with dozens of people), I was thinking around it. As in, the basic concept. The whole procedure when you take out the cock, the hand, the naked, sweaty, toned bodies, the hot faces, the low moans, the occasional "SLURP", the panting, the etc... you guys get the idea I guess? (Check your pants. If it tightens a bit while reading it you're all fine!)

And I came *cough* up with that:

Imagine you being a secret agent. Or FBI agent. CIA, KGB, whatever.

You're interrogating someone. Let's call him "Johnson". You want information from him, badly, it's really important for you. So, with that goal in the back of your mind, you start to work on that "Johnson". You're free to do whatever you want with him. (Wipe those ideas off your mind, we're thinking around that thing, not about it.)

You start off slow. You ask him questions in a low voice. You gotta be careful in the beginning. But as you interrogate him, you start to lose control. You talk louder and louder, nearly scream. But then you remember, you gotta go slow with him, or he'll refuse to cooperate.

So, you go for a short break. Talk casually with him for a bit. But you know, you can sense it... if you want this thing to work out, you got to get that information out of him, fast! So you build up momentum, slowly raise your voice, your temper, the speed yo throw questions at him. On and on and on and on it goes, leaving you hardly anytime left to get a breather.

And then, the magic moment you've been anticipating comes! He spits the information out! Finally, after working for it for so long, you can bask in that glow of success, the glow of knowing that you did a good job.

What a job...*phew*

See? We're all secret agents... some of us a few times a week, other ones a few times a day.

Noise

2006-01-01T15:08:00.000+01:00

Everywhere. In downtown Vienna, where people are firing up fireworks all over the place. For splitseconds, the night is bathed in light again, artificial light. It's freezing.

Truth be told, I only went out cause it's my last New Year in my 10's. Next year I'll be 20 already, the big 2-0 is coming up in March. Sure as hell my mind was filled with unhealthy thoughts, about how fast things can go and how many mistakes I made, mostly concering my love life, not my scholary life. School ain't as important as people might say.

I wandered all over downtown Vienna last night, in search for some friends of mine, but I couldn't find them because of the sheer mass of people. I believe my ass got groped several times while pushing through the crowds.

And those guys didn't even pay for their fun!

You guys still remember that Brazilian Hottie? He called me up, telling me that there was a houseparty, hosted by someone I hardly know. I'm insecure. I didn't know if there was any thoughts behind this invite. He could be just polite, asking me to come there with him.

He could also tried to ask me out to that guy, this way, shining a new light on this whole thing.

Well, I stuck to the first theory. At least I wouldn't get hurt if it turned out to be the second one.

So, being lonely and in need for some alcohol, I made my way to an underground club, itself becoming more n more of a gay club. I don't know how, but somehow the gays started to take over this place.

Had a few shots and Caipis. Danced up a sweat. Shaked my "Groove-Thang" to Rock, Pop, House, R&B, Elctronica. Cement Brunette, I don't know what you mean with "Smiths", but I sure danced hard. If I do that on an everyday basis, I'll have a dislocated hip by the tender age of 30.

I saw a lot of cute guys. A lot of cute guys saw me. Dilemma has it, that none of these two parties approached the other one, meaning that it basically made no sense at all to move my humps.

I wanted to talk to a guy who sat close to me. Tall, skater tee, dark features. I like em guys dark haired. Just my taste. Didn't get the guts together to do so. Again. I don't know, but I got the impression that he waited til I approached him, while I did the very same thing. In the end, he got up again, turned around the corner and I didn't see him again.

So, that's my recounting of what happened on my last New Year in my 10's.

Froze, Drank, Danced, Lounged, Felt Lonely. A blast, just like those fireworks in the sky.

Talk

2005-12-24T22:13:00.000+01:00

I don't get guys. Really, I don't. I don't get them as in I don't understand them (and also literally as in "I don't get a decent guy".)

Now, when you're sitting at Starbucks, and stare at me, walking in, sitting down, taking off my jacket, sipping my Mocha and keep on staring at me... why don't you just talk to me? Even though I also look at you and smile!

Hell, there's been several guys now, looking up from whatever they were doing to watch me getting some Sweet'n'Lows or some extra milk, but not approaching me.

This.

Is.

Bad.

...

For.

Me.

When guys stare at you like that, the overall thought might not be feeling flattered, but actually being that there's something wrong with me. Horribly wrong!

Is my ass too big? Do I look like I'm about to spew out a baby? Does my face resemble a full moon, as in, is it too round? Did a bird shit into my hair and maybe that guy might think I was in some huge bukake orgy, with guys cumming all over me, incl. my hair?

Why does noone talk to me? I can talk! I have a HUGE shitmouth and i can talk for hours with it (the other features may be revealed with time.)

Do I look unapproachable? Stuck up? Way too straight?

I can't run around with my "GLAM*QUEEN" trucker cap all the time! (Yes, I own one of those, NO, don't ask me what I was thinking at that time) I'm not a queeny twink. I can be a very smart guy you can have deep conversations with.

Just fuckin' Try Me! (DO NOT read it the other way)

On other news, I just started watching "Living With Fran" and I find it hard to follow. Getting a hunk like Ryan McPartlin is such a bad idea, cause I can never follow the dialogue properly... I just wanna devour him completely (Or have him devour me, I can live with that too!)

Doesn't that face just scream:"Lemme fuck your brains out!"?

Anger Management

2005-12-10T19:43:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone!

Meet JJB.

That's not really her btw. I just googled for "Blonde Chick".

Anyways.

JJB is a classmate. Cut the mate. She's a horribly selfish person, manipulative, cunning, sly, intelligent, two-faced, an overall bitch. I know, after reading this description you should think:"Oh my, she seems like the type of girl Kiks would like! In his eyes, she's surely not such a bad person."

And, it might sound strange, but it's true. Those qualities I just counted down make her quite an enjoyable person. It's PURE entertainment in my eyes. So, basically, we should get along with each other quite well.

"Should"

If there wasn't the point that she constantly tries to interfere with me. Which is something that is SO not happening. No, Mister Sister, NOT. WITH. K.I.K.S.T.A.

Not with me honey!

As faith has it, we're both on the team who organize our prom this year. Huge deal. Fashion Show sponsored by H&M. Nintendo Game Boy Micros and Motorola Cellphones, sponsored by their company's for our tombola. Maybe even a Playstation Karaoke contest.

Huge Deal That.

So, to further deepen my contributions to the prom, I presented sketches for the logos. Everyone liked it. Except for... JJB. Ever since that presentation, she tries to bad-talk my art, saying that everyone told her that they hate it too. Insecure like I am, I need to call everyone to reassure myself that in fact, she was STILL the only one hating it (well, technically another girl also didn't like it, but she's a Kiks-Hating piece of cum-covered anus-mud, so she doesn't matter).

I hate it when she gets me insecure. I hate her guts! Yesterday, after JJB gave me yet another stab, I was so furious that on my way home I told my friend Nicotina how I'd kill her, in all bloody details.

I thought about picking her up by her legs and swing her head against the front of a train, while it's driving in at full force.

Although I dismissed this idea quite fast... I mean, I hear her scream for ages, yeah, but her head becomes nano-particles like *snip*, so I don't get a lot of enjoyment from it.

So, another plan took place in my insane mind.

A good one indeed!

At first, I take two keys, position them in my fist so it looks like Wolverine's claws,...

With these two neatly places keys, I'll aim for her eyes. There's gonna be blood and screams and it totally sounds like buckets of ~~gore~~fun!

Her vaginal region also needs to be treated with a nice, fast KICK

After I robbed her off her sight and made her forever infertile in case she should survive what's coming up...

She'll meet my Hammer.

Btw, you gotta imagine Tweety being 5'8" for that pic to make sense.

So, with that lil' toy, I'll first pull a:

smashing her head INTO her neck. This will be followed by whipping the hammer sideways, left & right, until barely anything from her smug face is left...

Seeing her situation as a BADLY wounded person will finally, FINALLY put my heart at rest and I can sleep nice n sound at night again.

Oh, Christmas Time... it's beautiful, eh?

Now, excuse me while those nice men in their white uniforms pick me up for my daily therapy session...

Kumbay'all!

Are You Electronic?

2005-11-26T22:08:00.000+01:00

I'm seriously wondering what people nowadays have with electronic devices...

I just leeched a Wal-Mart ad featuring Destiny's Child, one where they are celebrating Christmas by unpacking presents. I mean, not being christian, getting and giving presents was the first thing I knew about Christmas, the whole "Jesus was born on this day, a new Lord came on Earth"-Blah blah just went past a 3 year old Euro-Chink whose parents are Taoist, to let them have at least some kinda religion.

(In reality, most chinese people only believe in good food and money... yeah, that whole communist regime corrupted EVERYONE. So much for Marx' theory.)

What struck me as strange was that the only presents the whole family got were electronics. Kelly got a digicam, Beyoncé got digicam (and I think also a DV-cam), Michelle got a digicam, their parents all got one, I think Michelle's mum even got 3 of em, in short, everyone gave the other one a digicam, and tons of other electronics, like a PSP, HUGE TV, and so on.

What's that thing they got for digicams? Everyone needs one? Some even several ones? What happened to the good ol' stuff, like perfume, clothes, shoes, travel vouchers or, I mean for such a rich family, cars and houses??? Are they trying to say "Buy digital stuff! It's the best thing on Christmas"?

And appearantly, after reading this Engadget article, loads of people followed that call, forming a gigantic stampede to get some cheap notebooks, memory cards, TV's and... digicams.

It may be really true for our community these days...

Consumo, ergo sum.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a powershopper myself, I'd say that from my faggot-genes, the Shopping gene is the second most developed one, right behind Fashion-Fag gene and in front of the Bitchy gene. And I love electronic devices like every other geek. But standing in front of a Wal-Mart/Best Buy/Target, etc. for a whole night in the freezing cold for a couple of 10$ memory cards, 400$ Notebooks and 600$ TV's?

Man, you'd have to pay me for such a suicide mission.

Permanent Damage

2005-11-22T15:23:00.000+01:00

I never thought I'd get to the point of doing so, but I hate the phone!

In the past 2 days I've been hanging on my phone for hours and hour, listening to one sickinening waiting melody after another, only to get disconnected by some stupid queen who doesn't know how to operate a phone.

And I hate that fuckin' politeness of people in the service sector. When you DON'T want to help in sponsoring my prom, then go fuckin' TELL ME SO! Don't "we're sorry, but we don't have posters and banners etc. in stock right now" or "we would really like to help you, but we simply cannot at this point"-me, cause, lemme tell you something, this fucker right here knows you're not!

Uh huh Gurl!

You can't go 'n bullshit a bullshitter, so whip out you're fuckin' whip of truth and tell me into my face (or ear) that you're company does NOT want to sponsor an event where their your customer group is accumluating and then don't wonder why your sales are so shitty. A grand or two, or maybe even one or two prizes for our tombola won't hurt the pocket of a multi-billion company, especially not if you think about the brand's exposure during that night with all those easily influenceable little kiddies.

We are fuckin' worth your attention, cause people like me will remember our treatment and E are the fuckin' future. You diss us, we dismiss you from our wishlist, which in turn will totally hurt your annual financial report.

Simple as that!

A. Birthday Post

2005-11-09T22:27:00.000+01:00

No, it ain't mine. I'm pisces, born in March. It's Alex's birthday. Yes, that sucker again. I can't get my mind off him, although I try and even though he's pinching me time and time again, this heart of mine aches.

So, happy birthday Alex. I didn't write you a mail as I did those years before. I wanted to do so the whole day, but somewhere in me I knew did you wouldn't realize it anyways, if I'd write or not. There are certain things that mean nothing to you. I know I'm one of those things, as you made clear some time ago.

I hope you have a good party this weekend, because you're SOOO into your studies that you wouldn't party on weekdays. Good boy. Busy boy. Hard working boy. GODDAMN MuhFucker boy!

I'm sick of all that junk I'm travelling with through my life. Fuck it. FUCK YOU. You and all your pretentious behaviour. I don't want you to talk to me like we're friends, because you showed me more than enough that we're not. I'm just your designated second choice. Fuck that. Fuck your stupid, shit covered second-choice-making. I hate every single bit of it. Realize it already. Fuck off when I tell you so. I might never be useful to you, so you can stop pretendig to like me, in high hopes I could help you one day. I'm just a useless bum. I do you NO GOOD AT ALL.

I wished something, SOMETHING, would finally happen to make your true self visible. The one I can loath. The one I don't need to listen to because his sentence's content is next to nil. The one who realizes what a superficial fuck he is.

.... and dropping the mask I fell in love with.

I can only hope that one day you trip. Trip and fall, revealing your true self. Revealing that you are nothing at all, just another substanceless, shameless frat brat, who knows no cares and will never care.

Cheers. You're 20 now. Dozens of years to go. And one day, I know it, one day you will trip. You will fall. And I, for one, won't help you up.

WANTED!!!

2005-11-04T12:55:00.000+01:00

This man, name unknown, is wanted for causing a heart stoppage with an asian kid, age 19. More information is needed to track this dangerous person down.

CAUTION! CONSIDERED (nicely) ARMED AND DANGEROUS! BEWARE OF THOSE EYES!

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT ME.

REWARD

A gigantic smooch!

At The Roxy

2005-10-30T00:00:00.000+02:00

So, last night, I already started to continue not doing what my body was telling me to (-->going to sleep early) and went out for a birthday party of two friends of mine. They rented a small bar called Roxy, like that bar Madonna used to present her single Hung Up to those gays she so despised, because they went against her believe of Kaballah, which is totally stupid since imo her album Confessions On A Dancefloor (a stupid name cause from what I saw from the "Hung Up" video, her only confession will be that she's a very thorough bikini waxer) will be played up and down in gay bars all over the world and will pretty much sell well due to the rather high economical status the gays have.

The Roxy in Vienna.... well, it's not so much my style. It had some rather cheapish looking orange lights, a shame, because I could see that the walls were paneled with dark wood and the seats were dark leather. With a bith of white light coming from the bottom it would have looked SO stylish. Those two friends were heavily into Drum & Bass, which in turn, was not so much my style again. I only really danced one on that tiny dancefloor, and that was only accomplished because I told them two to hook up my iPod to the sound system and play M.I.A.'s Bucky Done Gun, a incredibly hot Dancefloor/Electronica mish mash.

I couldn't sit in their corner because they smelled heavily like weed. I mean, I guess they brought half a pound of ganja in there, people were constantly smoking and stuff. Those guys were SUCH dope-heads. I mean, I don't smoke. I drink, when I can, like there's no tomorrow, but I promised not to do any drugs unless I'm under professional supervision. So, for the time being, I'll stay as clean as Daigle's tush before he has a hot date with a Coke can ( ;) ).

I had a small chance to talk with the old Brazilian Hottie again, but it was kept short. AND, I had my first ever talk with another guy I'd been eyeing lately. He's got a HUGE nose, but in general looks SO cute. I don't know his name, but surprisingly (or not) he knew mine. It's always like that. People know me, though I know noone.

Truth it, I might not get into deeper waters with that guy, not only because I think he's straight as an arrow and not a tiniest bit curious, but also because he's 3 years younger than me. No, I have no Michael Jackson complex. The time will come when I start lusting after young meat, hehe.

So, in general, it was a rather uneventful evening. A bit boring, quite a bit of walking around to lighting fast D&B music (to which I cannot dance!) and a single Corona.

But, the cherry on top of this evening was a small incident on my way home!

To go home from downtown, there are buses which pretty much get me into 5 minute distance of my flat. Thing is, the station I always take is one which is close to some gay clubs (which I never entered. Judge me, but I don't feel like going to any bar or club on my effing own.). So, while standing around at that bus station, a car drove by, stopped in front of me, the driver yelled something out and I walk closer to the car, thinking that he needed some direction.

Well... I DO think he was asking for some direction, although he pretty much knew the direction, which was basically me going down.... on him. The second I realized that, I yelled a quick "NO!" to him and went back to the bus station. He drove away, still on the search for some tongue and booty action.

I didn't know if I should have felt flattered or disgusted. Do I look like a whore? *cough*.... wait, I mean, a prostitute, for I know the fact that I like to whore out... but on a sidewalk? For money?

Erm, don't think so.

Although... I could try again, seeing what a price I get fetch, Haha.

Yeah sure =P

Fatigue

2005-10-28T19:22:00.000+02:00

I barely post anymore, although I still visit some random blogs from time to time, but somehow, this whole weather, school and life situation is really passively draining my whole motivation and drive.

I'm tired so ofte these days. Every day while I'm sitting in school, I end up curling into my scarf and pullover, just to catch a minute or two of sleep.

I have a few theories 'bout my constant fatigue. I even went so far as to suggest a hormonal problem, although I guess it's just a combo of dehydration and not getting enough sleep. Sleep! The magic word!!!!

I'm gonna have a whole week (7 fucking days!!!!) off school, Autumn Holidays. I'll start working out properly again, hydrate my body and go to sleep and wake up early. It's said that 21 days will create a habit, which means that I have to do this whole thing for 3 weeks, non-stop, to make it become a healthy habit.

I know.... I sound weirdly health-conscious, right? Just lettin' ya know that I have good reasons to start look after myself properly now. Good reason it is indeed!

Besides of my constant feeling of falling asleep any second, there's also nothing interesting in my life these days. Nada. Zilch. How can lives can be so random and boring? I need some fucking escapades! I need some crazy friends to do weird shit with me!

*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*rant*

I could go on ranting and fussing for hours, fuck that, days and weeks! Ask anyone who knows me.

Personality

2005-10-17T23:15:00.000+02:00

It's interesting on how much a person can know you. That douchebag I call my cousine for example, who in fact, is the only person who knows most of my facettes. Guess she's some kinda special haha.

Anyways, today, while on MSN, she told me that I have a certain critical cynism as a character trait. She even stated that she liked it.

But, am I?

For the readers of this blog, the most appearant trait is my dirty mouth. Even Isa (my cousine) would say that my most appearant personal trait is that I speak in shitmouth. But I've never been told that I'm a cynical critic, who likes to criticise other people (I mean, except for those times when my inner Fashion Fag comes out roaring about people who simply cannot dress, or don't have any taste... does that make me a bad person?)

Who am I becoming?

I'm holding onto my theory that everyone is actually taking someone else's personality trait, copies it, emulates it and finally makes it their own. So, who are the people who shaped my personality? I am in a constant state of change, no? Who am I copying now? Who will I copy? What are the traits Im looking for? Do I have a persona interesting enough to be worth copying? Or will I only remain someone who copies, without being noticed?

I know that I'm getting awfully philosophical now, but to me, those are question that could keep me up all night talking, discussing, or just thinking.

And just because that song is really hot and utterly senseless and also to lighten up this whole thing, a song I'm digging right now:

Namie Amuro - Violet Sauce

It's the japanese "Image song" for Sin City, and absolutely hot. Shake your booty to it.

So It Began.....

2005-10-13T17:39:00.000+02:00

Now, the testing period of my senior just started today with my first written french exam. Which, in fact, was ridiculous.

The teacher's got NO idea!

We had to summarize a short text about stress in school, that means, read it and then sum it up. Piece-a-cake! Then, we had to translate some sentences from german to french. Natch! And! on the last point, we had to conjugate etre (to be) and avoir (to have) in Imparfait.

I had tests loads harder than this in my freshman year. One factor may be that our teacher has no idea whatsoever of teaching us! (Like I said before...) Very often she doesn't even show up for class when it should start, but arrives 40 minutes later telling us that she had to talk with some student or whoever and tells us to read a page in our french books, which actually, noone will do.

She spends hours and hours talking about her past relationships, her friends who traveled abroad and constantly fusses about her weight (covered in outfits which make my inner Fashion Fag® want to pick out my eyes with my bare fingers).

Don't get me wrong! She might be an okay person, but she definitly sucks at teaching us french.

And guess what! I'm so gonna graduate in French, simply because this year will be the same like the past ones (no actual learning, talks for hours and hours, some videos every now and then...), which in fact means that I won't have to learn a bit for it. So Easy!

And, it's not like I'm ever gonna really learn for school (although I'm trying to really work hard for school.) Problem is, I don't really need to. The way I work in school, enables me to pass each year with a minimum of work and decent grades! And until I fall flat onto my bum, I won't know any better.

The only subject where I really need to work hard in is maths. Simply because I can't think logically. All those formulas and shit ain't my thang at all. I'm more of a language person.

Now, I know that I sound really cocky and vain in this post... but, you know, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". And that's my attitude towards school.

But, who knows? Maybe things will change in college...

Self-Induced Starvation

2005-10-09T21:31:00.000+02:00

This week, Ramadan started. You know? Ramadan? The fasting time of the Moslems, where they are only allowed to eat AND drink after sunset? Yeah, exactly that one.

You're smart, eh?

Haha.

Anyways, we have 2 arabic girls in our class, who's family is quite religious. They don't eat nor drink for the whole day. Not even water! By the time it's 06:30 PM, they are craving for food and totally dehydrated. One girl even told me that she can't wait until she "bleeds all over the place for no appearant reason"(in my words), so she can lead a normal life for some days again!(Females are allowed to eat during day time when they have their period.)

I feel so bad for them! While we were at Starbucks on Friday, one of them SO wanted to try my White Chocolate Chai Tea Latte, but couldn't. I could have forced it down her throat, but what kinda person would I be if I had?

I guess a bad one who was concerned about a friend's state of hunger.

It's only getting worse for them though.

The time for Ramadan changes every year. In around 10 years, Ramadan will be in the middle of summer, meaning that Moslems will only be able to eat between, hold onto something now, 9PM and 2AM!!!!

Yes! They are only allowed to eat for 5 hours a day! In the middle of the night!

I wonder if there are any rules about intravenous food during Ramadan....

The All-Mighty Reeses' Peanut Buttercup-God may be with them!

(I know, I'm so blasphemeous, hehehe)

Autumn Goodbye

2005-10-06T22:59:00.000+02:00

It's officially autumn now... although somehow, the weathergods skipped summer this year, so my inofficial autumn is lasting already some 3 months already.

How do Thai prostitutes say?

Sucky Sucky ($3 Dollar)

Hits the point exactly... except for the 3 bucks.

So, I'm digging out my pullovers, indulge in some Hot Chocolate, look for the perfect autumn and winter outfits, not to mention the perfect cashmere scarf & pullover, prepare myself for the upcoming and final tests of my school career, get all pissed due to the weather (I LOVE to fuss about Vienna's shitty weather), spend afternoons and evenings at Starbucks, where I can surf the net on my PSP and listen to their fine collection of Westcoast and Eastcoast Jazz (although there are some great gems from the North) while reading and not understanding the asignments my teachers gave us...

All of that. Alone. Seule. Alleine. Solo.

It's not like I can care a lot about being the solitary man that I am. I've been for quite some time now. I don't really know anything better or worse.

The one guy I loved so much that my heart bleeds everytime I even think of him, is officially gone now. Not gone forever. He's somewhere out there. In Switzerland, at an Elite University in St. Gallen. He claims to his family that he has to go a bit away from Vienna and Austria because here, his friends would keep him from learning properly. But I have my doubts.

Basically, it's the same story with him, and it's not a side of his personality that I don't know. He's a hard worker, who wants to set foot into professional life a.s.a.p. He doesn't like to learn, but he sees it as a life's necessity, which he has to do. Actually, that's even a part of him that I'm proud of. Who wouldn't like a boyfriend who is a hard working person?

But I'm haunted by fears that I might actually be the reason why he won't come here. He seemed to make it clear to me that he cannot be seen with me when his snob posse is around. Reputation and shit. Ignoring me as the only way.

Am I so repulsive?

In my life, I'm simply hoping for one thing: To be able to spend one of those lazy autumn or winter afternoons and evenings with him at Starbucks, drinking some White Chocolate Mochas, sharing a Chocolate Lovin' Spoon Cake, and learning for our exams. I would read some stuff to him, he'd tell me what a lil' smartass I am and smile at me with those cute eyes that emit pride. He'd ask me something and I'd answer with an exagerrated sigh and call him a dumbass, right before I hit his head softly with the papers I'm reading. He'd smile again, triggering me to smile too, while looking at him with pure amazement...

And I'd know, this is bliss.

Until this day comes, when I can finally feel his heartbeat again, stroke through his hair and look into those calm, questioning eyes, I will have to sit here alone.

Is it much that I'm asking for?

Crack Addict Bunny

2005-10-04T15:09:00.000+02:00

Well.... not really crack addict, but it sure is an addict. Btw, that's not our bunny... but bunnys look the same anyways, so, yeah, heh...

So, 2 years ago, my lil' brothers got themselves 2 bunnies, one grey, one black. Being the imaginative kids they are, they called them Bunny (the grey one) and Blacky (*duh*, the black one). Because my little brothers didn't take too much care, Bunny passed away last summer, leaving only Blacky behind.

Now, I don't know if it's Blacky way of coping it's way of solitary life, but she's got an incredible urge to bite, scratch and tear off things. If possible, when noone can see her doing so. Blacky already shredded numerous magazines and newspapers into teeny weeny bits and pieces and scratched the back of our leather sofa. All of that done in dark corners, so noone can see her doing so.

But, Blacky got one thing she really likes...

...

Cables!

If possible, ones they are being used.

I tried to figure out that bunny's motives, why it would possibly want to get it's teeth on cables with bucket loads of charged electrons running through. Maybe she's getting small shocks from chewing on that cable which gets her pleasure center in her brain going crazy, making acrobatic tricks, etc, etc...

She practically rendered a lamp in the livingroom useless because she had such a good time chewing on the electricity cables. Nearly got us rid of satellite TV (Da Hell do I know how that bunny got to those cables!!!). Has been suspiciously close to my PS2 and eyeing it's cables with disturbing apetite.

But I think that things are gonna turn out well for all of us...

Lately she turned to eating carpet. In the dark. While noone is watching.

Stupid carpet addict bunny.

Snap. Snap!

2005-09-28T18:38:00.000+02:00

Just a quick snapshot today in Schönbrunn, the summer residence of the old austrian royal family. T'was a pretty day, and I slowly start to learn how to use Pain Shop Pro 8 (although it's a totaly pain in the ass cause I'm totally used to PSP 7 and I REALLY ned to leanr how to use Photoshop, the more powerful of photoediting softwares.)

Anyways,.....

And in B/W

Where did all my readers go? It's not like I have a lot of readers anyways, but I have a slight fear that I slowly, slowly scared all my blog-friends away...

Bad Puppy (once more...)

2005-09-26T15:32:00.000+02:00

I haven't blogged in more than a week! Oh my gosh!... that's bad right? Feel free to spank my fruity booty (Got rated an A for it's nice consistency and soft bounce... by "someone"). I also haven't checked my MySpace account for some weeks now, I know that i'm totally neglecting my online friends and the few people who read this blog, and I'm so sorry and ...*out-of-breath*

Problem is, there ain't nothing out there worth blogging about! I have near death experiences due to boredom! It borders on obscene and totally so!

But I won't be ranting on and on about how boring a students life is... most of you will know so yourself and tell me that I "should be happy with my life right now because once you're starting to have a job, everything will be more complicated, and" blah and blah and yet another blah... oh, and not to forget blah.

So, to put things into focus, both for you and me...

I have to start and finish reading 1984 by George Orwell by Wednesday (FAT CHANCE OF DOING THAT!) and don't want to rely on online helps like Sparknotes cause I need that shit for my graduation and I'd be stupid to totally rely on the Net.
I got a photoshoot as an arts project coming up this Wednesday (FINALLY!) and still need to buy both a white and black shirt. If someone could lend me a black Louis Vuitton bag, I'd be VERY grateful!
Write 2 interpretations of poems in german, each should be around 500 words, and the whole thing is SOOOOO boring, I hate writing homeworks in german
I need to finish up some deal with my dad, so I can finally, FINALLY get my pay cheque, which is gonna get spend on totally useless stuff that I won't be needing anymore after this season and next.
Fashion. I got to keep up with Fashion! The male S/S 06 shows went past without me noticing it, I was so shocked of myself! Now I have to keep an eye open for the Italian and French Prét a Porter (Ready to Wear) shows for Spring. They should be sometime in autumn, but I never really know when they are taking place.
Watch more CNN... for the shocking Rita & Post-Katrina coverage, mostly because, well, they're shocking and yet another one of my future hubbies, Anderson Cooper (I know that he may be too old for me, but with looks like that? I'll keep him warm during ANY nature catastrophe!) is doing the reporting on it... So Scrumptious!
Both hate and love the weather. I mean, it's not normal that during summer the temperatures barely reached 20°C and now, in autumn, it's somewhere at 35°C! Who's doing that evil job up there? My summer sucked, GIANT COCK! (Hehe, this is SO gonna get some Google hits). While I was freezing in summer, I'm sweating in autumn. That's. Not. Normal. And definitly not fair!

*phew* quite some stuff to do as you can see in the next few days/this week... Interesting events should happen these days and I'll keep you updated from now on more regularly...

Promise!

Kitchen Confidential

2005-09-17T11:02:00.000+02:00

There's a cool new show on Fox called "Kitchen Confidential", about a certain "Jack Bourdain", who went from top to the bottom and gets a chance back to the top.

I like it. I only saw a screener of the first episode (only one available til now), but it's really witty and well written. There's also Bradley Cooper and an adorable Jaime King as a bonus.

Watch it yourself! Days before the actual release!

Kitchen Confidential

I don't know how much if it will remain intact for the actual show, cause this is only a screener. But you get the feeling anyways.

Watch it on TV too when it comes out!

Blog Things

2005-09-15T18:48:00.000+02:00

Ken, from my MySpace friends, sent me some celtic astrlogy stuff. Check out what I am:

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes
out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones,
hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough,
but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices
for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to
use them, can become a complainer, great leadership qualities, is
jealous at times but, extremely loyal.

Okay, not too bad. I won't comment on the "intelligent", for numerous reasons.

Hard working? Are you fucking joking? I am the prototype of the opposite! So lazy, it's unbelieveable.

I DO accept what life dishes out, and the other thing too, so, you got me there.

I LOVE vacations, but prefer urban surroundings. Pulsating cities. Party. Or, if it's supposed to be romantic, a gorgeous beach, somewhere in the Indian Ocean.

I don't think I ever appeared to be tough here, but I AM soft... too soft at times.

I would TOTALLY sacrifice something for my family or very close friends. I love my friends. I do! As long as I get loved back...

The talent thing is quite true too, but I won't comment on the term "many".

I LOVE to complain. LOVE to fuss. I can be SUCH a drama queen at times. But I'm keeping it at a tolerable level, hehe.

I suck as a leader. I cannot lead people properly, because I don't have a plan in mind. I'm pure chaos!

I do get jealous. With everything and especially people who mean something to me. What can I say? I'm really attached to people.

And, yes, I'm loyal. Although it's hard at times. But I try my best.

Btw, if Daigle and Diane read this: I know that you two tagged me. I will post it asap. Promise. Even if I have to sacrifice some of my precious time.

Minor Changes, okay, want fries with that?

2005-09-13T21:35:00.000+02:00

I've been having thoughts about changing parts of my blogs lately. I want to change the look (either something sleek & sophisticated or wild & street a licious or a jungle look), add a "Best Of" section of my entries (ain't too many there >_<) and change the name from

"~Kiksta~ My Life: A Beautiful Struggle"

to

~Just For Kiks~,

maybe not in that look and that short, a bit more, who knows...

The layout may be done as soon as my more advanced HTML savoir faire kicks back in again or someone takes pity on me and helps me with it (I TOTALLY suck at creating computer graphics).

The Best Of will be implented (hopefully) during this week, when I can get myself to do so (Kiks' SSOOO lazy)

As for the name, I'm wanting input. From as many people as possible. Ask your friends if needed, on which one is better.

Edit: (13.9.05) I. Need. More. Opinions!

Thinking about it, I could pull a Daigle and do two blogs... like, this one and one "Just For Kiks"... With even more bullshit, more stupid questions, senseless brabble and totally blog-unworthy, fucked up shit...

Sounds like fun, eh?

PS: Ahmad, I'm feeling honored that you think that there are intellect, wit and humour on this blog... but, trust me, reading my blog in a non-sober state of mind is not smart!!!

School: I'll make it

2005-09-09T13:17:00.000+02:00

So, that was my first week of school, after some rather bland vacations. One thing that I can tell you, is that vacations spend in your hometown with none of your friends actually having time, is hell. Cold hell, if you're as unlucky as me and have a totally cold summer (but surprisingly enough, it's hot now! Go figure! Spring: Hot, Summer: Cold, Autumn: Hot. It's like the worst joke ever!)

So, this is my last year now. By american standard, I'd be a Senior, finally, after having had to repeat twice, and all those private troubles, but I'm a senior now and I'll totally behave like one. Don't know HOW to behave like one(How???), but I think I'm gonna figure out somehow.

Now, to end this rather short entry, download some more music:

Just the Two of Us

Me likes ^_^

Me wants!!! Me needs!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!

2005-09-08T13:40:00.000+02:00

New iPod!!!

Name: iPod nano

Size: 3.5 x 1.6 x 0.27

Status: CCCCUUUUUTTTEEE!!!!! I NEED ONE!!!!

Thin as a pencil.

Available in white and black (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

With stylish lanyard earphone (sold seperatly)

Now, click on my google ads like there's no tomorrow!!!

(It's a pity though that the classic iPod mini is discontinued. I wanted one! With a color screen!)

News

2005-09-05T17:05:00.000+02:00

If you haven't seen it yet, my darlin DaigleFag's Squirrel: D.'s Squirrel

Basically, it's a squirrel that reports on the Southern States catastrophe. Sayin stuff like the reporters talking to the cameras during the hurricane or afterwards, instead of helping them.

This just SO reminds of a scene of Scary Movie, the one where the reporter, Gail Thunderstorm or whatever, is reporting LIVE from a teenager slashing. The masked Scream pyscho killer approaches the girl and stabs her, with Gail telling the cameraman to keep the camera on the girl, asking her after the stab on how she feels ("Terrible, Pain")... Oh yeah, while the killer tries to stab her, she screams for help, but Gail just keeps on reporting.

I laughed SO hard during that scene, because it was just so ridiculous! I mean, seriously ridiculous. In my world, watching someone helpless, in pain or something like that w/o helping this person just seems ridiculously wrong. (Okay, not cleaning the house is a somewhat WAY different topic)

There was also a report on a gang messenger who had to deliver something to someone in another part of a city (don't remember where or when, some time ago, we read this article in class). The reporters were allowed to follow him for a day and then taped it when he got snipered.

What did those reporters do? Helped? First Aid? Called ambulance? Hella no. They kept on taping coming close to that guy who was definitly suffering from the shot. I don't remember if they kept on going til he died or if they stopped and finally, FINALLY called an ambulance for help.

Now, don't tell me that this ain't ridiculous.

On a sidenote, I watched the news yesterday on CNN, all about Katrina.

While watching I found out that Anderson Cooper is the worst person they could get for reports on Katrina. Not because he is a bad reporter... but because he's so hot!

I mean, it's not normal that when he's talking about families searching each other and drowned parts of New Orleans, I can only think "Oh yeah, Anderson... c'mon, take that shirt off... Oh, fuck, you're hot... mmmh, I'd let YOU do me definitly...so sexy grey hair... shit, please ram my brains out."

*cough*

That was the PG edit, a'ight?

It was the most disturbing news session for me... ever!

(Btw, the Mayor of New Orleans is also quite a hottie... and SOOOOOO caring for his people... I watched him AND Anderson in the same hour... please forgive me if I'm totally traumatized.)

Thoughts

2005-09-04T01:18:00.000+02:00

Well, it looks like the Senate of Cali-Land decided that gay marriages are legal in the state of sunny beaches and its boys. I mean, I'm not personally affected by it, for I live somewhere far FAR away from Cali, but it's good enough to know that one more state of America stopped to (officially) disriminate against gay marriages.

Marry away all my Cali friends, now or to become! Merrily marry the guy you always wanted!

Now, I go "Hip Hip" and you go "Hooray!" okay? Alright, "Hip Hip"!....

...

...

So?

Boo, loser!

Anyways, on to more sad shit. Sure I've seen the destruction in Louisiana. It's horrible. All those people, all those deaths, the chaos, the hostility...

Shit, that's sad to see, especially in a place where stuff like that was meant to be impossible... part of the US... a 3rd world country? It's an oxymoron!

Now, a christian groups, whatever their name is, claimed that Katrina was godsent, to punish all that partying that was going on in Nouveau Orleans (I guess at least that Orleans is masculine) and the openness towards other people their roots, ethnicity and their sexual orientation. They also said that it happened to prevent the "Southern Decadence" from happening.

Yeah, right. What da doggypussy mounting fuck are they thinking?

Jesus spread love and understanding, at least, from what I read in the bible. In case of love and understanding, New Orleans should hardly have been flooded and destroyed. I may have skipped some parts where J. was laughing at other people who got punished, maybe it's because I had a children's edition when I was 8. We all know that the real juicy stuff is always cut out when people edit books/movies for kids.

But cutting something out as important as hatred against minorities? Hm...

Maybe I'm totally wrong about my conception of god and that whole system. But to me, everyone has to be and will be loved, as long as they did no harm to any other person.

Those christian extremists? So gonna burn in hell.

Wait

2005-09-01T13:41:00.000+02:00

*Wait til you hear by shit, wait til you hear my beat, I'm gon beat your boxes up*

Why didn't anyone tell me how hot this song is? Wow... and this whole whispering concept is cool... not to mention the (dirty) message, haha. Anyways, I'm waiting for a sign that I should start recording my shit. I hate to share pre-recorded stuff but maybe I'll send some samples of my demo around by the time it is done.

Btw, if anyone here got "#1 Spot" from Ludaris, I'd be VERY grateful for an YSI link for it. Or send it by email. Anything work for me.

Gimmicks

2005-08-26T18:07:00.000+02:00

Is it just me, or are those ringtone commercials the most loatheable thing since.... oh, whatever... I don't know pop-culture enough for a proper comparison... at least, not yet. The whole day, while watching MTV, there's those obnoxious ringtone ads, telling little kids to subscribe to ringtone+wallpaper subscribtions, making them filthily rich I bet... There's those computer animated animals, like, a farting rhino or totally crazy little bird, not to mention this crazy frog who I'd love to fry Shizuan style. So, Ugh...

Anyways, that was just some random brabling. Let's get to the juicy part of this entry. No, not porn. No, no X-Rated stories or thoughts either. I wanna share some music with you guys though.

Vanessa Marquez - Day Dreaming

I've uploaded this song so many times already, and still do, because I want this girl to be the next hottest thing in earth, and with this song, she's SO gonna win over the whole population of the world. I just LOVE this R&B/Bossa/Latin mix, with Vanessa's vocals topping it of. Hope you'll enjoy it too.

Mika Nakashima - Love Addict

Because there seem to be a big number of Jazz fans, lemme show you some japanese Jazz. It's more of a ballad, using Big Band Jazz Elements, but in overall, this song is heaven. Especially the intro is incredibly intruigeing, with it's gorgeous strings ensemble. Don't be put off by the language, I don't understand the lyrics either, but to me, the most important thing is the soul in the song, and this one is really one outstanding song. It's full of life, full of energy, but not to the point where it might get obnoxious.

Two songs for now, and I'd upload even more, but most of my stuff in in m4a format, because it's a HQ iPod compatible one, which is still very small. Although, new WinAmps should be able to read m4a files just fine. Or download iTunes, which will definitly be able to read m4a files.

Tell me what kinda player you have, so I know what stuff I can upload.

Til then, Enjoy! And please, comment, a'ight?

Music Videos

2005-08-24T23:28:00.000+02:00

Seeing the oncoming MTV VMAs (held in Miami this sunday, here in Vienna live at midnite, I so envy you Steve for living so close to there, although I personally preferred Radio Music City in NYC... something about NYC and its "urbanity" which somehow represents MTV for me), I wanna ask a general question about music videos these days...

I'm especially talking about Hip-Hop videos, which seem to be oversexed... but, like, totally, and, you know, SO over the top. (I know right? I sound like a total Cali-girl, right? *giggle*) There's naked girls all over my TV-, computer- and PSP-screens. Well, "half-naked" if you wanna get technical. Is it just me, or does everyone wonder if the casting director of such videos pick those girl from actual acting agencies, model agencies or somewhere in the "other" Silicon-Valley? Hey, from some things that I see on screen, those girls could have been picked right out off the streets! I can't get myself to believe that actual, "real" models, would get out there in such skimpy swimsuits, shaking their Double-F size cups in front of the camera, while rubbing their tush on some damn rappers (small-sized I bet) crotch. It's, like, SO pathetic. I know that alotta actual "actresses" and "singers" do it too (Shannon Elizabeth, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera, Madonna), but in their world, even bad publicity is publicity, and in the end, publicity is all they need, right?

I can see that alot of you will say that I'm actually missing out some more facts, but in general, I think all those girls in Rap-vids are just trashy hookers, who got lucky while doing their walk. Simply, whores. And I find it sad... this whole explotation of girls on screen, it only makes it okay for average guys to think that average girls could possibly be like that. I mean, are heteros really so after a cheap booty-call? Hm, who am I kidding... by now, everyone should know that men are only after getting their cum all over the partners body. Maybe I'm one of the few cock-teasing hopeless romantics out there.

Then again, I would have less against exploitation of hot swimmer-build guys on screen. I mean, just from a marketing side of view.... it'd be interesting no?

*imagines-half-hard-crotches-packed-in-speedos-on-screen-while-Hip-Hop-is-playing-in-the-background*

*cough*, erm yeah.... just from a marketing point of view.

Doleful Happiness

2005-08-17T01:28:00.000+02:00

What's new in Kiks' life? Okay, lets see... one of my best friends is about to leave for California in 3-4 hours. She'll stay there for at least 4 years, studying at a University in Long Beach. You Cali people are so lucky to get my sunshine. I'll so miss her, but I'll see her again soon enough... next summer/autumn at the latest. So, I didn't get to emotional. There's no need to.

More news? Alright, alright... I'll say it as it is: I'm lovesick. Again. With the same guy. My mind is going nuts. I'm feeling totally shit. I'm hating this so much, you got no idea. But I won't get too emotional. Cause there's also no need to.

I hope at least.

Now, to wrap up both stories: I've spent this weekend with some of my best friends, mainly for some farewell parties. Two in a row. Loads of booze and dirty jokes. We girls know how to celebrate. One friend is moving to India for half a year. Afterwards, she'll come to Vienna and study here. It's like, so fetch! Nearly all my close friends are coming here. This is gonna be one of the best years ever!

So, as you can see, I'm quite happy. A friend may be all the way over in L.A., but it's not like we got no Internet, phone, etc. In case all the internet connections worldwide fail to work (VERY unlikely), there'd still be the old-fashioned letters! So, I should be quite content.

Yeah, should... until the second party came. That's when I met him again. After half a year. I dreaded for this day to come, while also looking forward to it. I wanted to see, how this whole thing developed between us two. This whole "Breaking up although we've never been together" thing just totally sucks. I thought I closed this chapter in February. Appearantly, I did, but he didn't. And a chapter can only be closed when both do it.

How do you treat someone, who treated you like some "Plan B", in case none of his snob-friends are around to talk to? Can you take it serious when this person all of sudden expresses an interest in you, after he acted like you're non-existent? How is this supposed to work out, with our stupid games, of me running away when he wants to get closer to me and him ignoring me when he feels that his snob friends are keeping an eye on him? I really felt better when he ignored me, because I didn't have those thoughts of us two together after he did major heartbreak-damage. I thought his era in my life was officially over.

I know that he's not the two-faced type of person. He's totally honest, loyal, kind-hearted, a typical Scorpio. He can be totally sweet. He's got such a good heart, which he doesn't show anyone. He seems to be precious on so many levels. And he seems to genuinly like me. But it's too much for me to figure out his motives. Where is his heart? What do I really mean to him? Why does he always has to look in my direction when he thinks that I'm not seeing it? Why does he like it and actually tolerates it when I go through his hair with my fingers?(He's the "Gel-Up" type of person who hates it when people mess with his hair.)

And more importantly: Why am I feeling that something so senseless, childish, hurtful and directionless, is so beautiful and meant to be?

I just want to be happy. And feel his heartbeat again when he presses me against his chest. I'm so hating on him and this situation right now. And I basically never stopped hating on it. But I also never stopped loving him. Deep down in my heart.

Please, do me a favor and rip it out.

Foreign

2005-08-10T23:59:00.000+02:00

Today, while at Starbucks, a friend asked me something I got asked a lot already. She started off normal with "Do you many chinese friends?" Well, the simple answer was "No". I know nearly no chinese people of my age, except for my relatives. My brothers and cousins. Except for them, I know no chinese people worth mentioning. Sure, there are those friends of my parents and their kids. But I hardly have contact with them.

Most people don't understand that. They very often go "Why?" and "But you're chinese!". Which, I think, is a stupid reason. Only because we have ancestors coming from the same country, does NOT make them my friends automatically. Nothing as simple as that could make anyone friends by default. I don't understand this thing of "forced" relationships and friendships. Only because one element is the same, two things shouldn't be forced to mix together.

The main reason for me is that I don't identify myself with "them". They are not me. We're not the same, on so many levels. My upbringing was different, although we all have chinese parents. Although we share the same roots, the plant is distinctly a different one. I can't tell what the main difference is. I just don't feel like them. If this makes any sense. Then there's also the fact that I am in some situations very shy, so anyone who wants to get to know me, has to make a first step. I'm very receptive! Just throw anything at me, if I don't throw it back into you face, there's good chances a friendship could turn out.

Personally, I don't feel that China is my "homeland", "fatherland" or however you wanna call it. I see myself neither as a total chinese, nor as an austrian, european, whatever. By blood and looks, I'm totally asian, my mentally is european, but generally, I see myself as a cosmopolitan in the making. My home is the world, which in fact means that I'm homeless. I'm still searching for a place to call home, one distinct place I can feel proud of.

I'm patient. I can wait. And search.

Off-Topic: I DO realize that I might lose a lot of readers and not attract more people when I update so scarcely. Maybe I even deserve it. Who knows. Maybe my iPod Playlist is just making me sulky.

Been So Long

2005-08-09T22:32:00.000+02:00

I'm seriously neglecting my blog. What am I to say? Life during the holidays which are spent in Austria ain't anything to blog about. I'm too lazy to always be a club-bunny. My arms twitch all the time because I always overdo the weight training. My calves are contantly on the verge of becoming crampsy, if that word exists. My planned travels to Paris & London got canceled because I'm sitting here at home for my dad who has a business case to finish and (as he putted it: I should) feel obliged to help.

I hope i can still make it to Berlin though...

Anyways, that's only one reason why I hardly blog these days. Another reason is that there's too many things running amok, each one insisting that they are the most important one. Too many thoughts. Too little time for all of 'em. It's really crazy in here.

Thoughts in my brain are easily triggered by the weirdest and simplest things. If I hear a tone, I might remember that a song has a certain sequence with that tone, which in turn leads me to its lyrics, which then again get stuck at one thougt, triggering something totally else. Like this I could come from a simple tone to dirty panties, peanutbutter, beefcake or butterflies. Sometimes I even forget what the initial thought was!

To help me with that, I'm currently using white sheets of paper as mousepad, so I can always jott down the most important thoughts, so I can hold them there. You don't know how surprised I sometimes can be, if I read what I wrote down after an internet session. Romanji sentences, new movie releases, actors, singers, new music releases, runway shows from certain designers, with phonenumbers, IM-adresses, etc etc.... I tried to decifer what I wrote on such a sheet of paper I used some months ago, but because I used so many abreviations, I ended up looking at a bunch of numbers, names and letters... not to mention those omnipresent little characersketches.

Btw, just like good old Daigle D. said on his blog, I wanna ask everyone kindly to comment. Toda la gente! All of you! I'm a commentwhore, whoring and craving for some attention.

So do it. NOW! If it's not too hard for ya.

Hunger

2005-08-07T14:44:00.000+02:00

Recently I started a diet to lose some weight. Actually, it's not your typical "Do Not Eat" or "Eat As Much As You Want" Diet. The programs name is "Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle" and is a combination of cardio, weight training and a healthy diet, which, IMO, is the only smart way to shed some pounds. Yep, by gaining muscle weight. I don't know if it works on me, but it should have some positive effects.

Now, this program says that instead of eating 3 big meals, I should split that in 6 small meals. Which, in fact, is the main problem. I simply cannot stand inside of the kitchen 6 times a day, whipping up some stir-fried meat&veggies. With time, I'm running out of recipes and I hate to eat the same thing over and over again.

Another side effect is that my body seems to be constantly hungry. Only 3 hours after I ate some Chicken&Zuchini with Pesto, my stomach is signalizing: "Empty! Refill! Empty! Refill!" It's driving me nuts! I HAVE to eat every 2-3 hours, cause else my body thinks there's not enough food and slows down the metabolism I just pushed with sports.

I cannot just eat a small bowl of cereals, because I also try to stay low on carbs. An apple doesn't count as a small meal, and I need proteins, at best unprocessed, so eating some slices of sausage seems to be a no-no.

To tell the truth, it's easier to be on a "Do not eat anything" diet than this one. But this one is healthier and I'll stick to it.

Man, that's gonna be hard....

I thought it's time that I share a bit about me again, after I've written tasteless and perverted shit throughout the last month. And although I know that my shit-mouth is amongst my best selling points, I need to digress every now and then.

And anyways, that's my blog, so you ain't got no chance in hell to tell me what to do. :P

I've never really been amongst the most popular. I always saw myself as some kind of weird outcast, who didn't belong to any of those cliques, not even the outcasts! Thing is though, that I always seemed to belong to the most popular clique... without really belonging to it... I know that sounds weird, and even I don't really understand it.

I always tended to look at those predestined "class-royalty", jealous of all their friends, while being one of those friends myself. I wanted their glamour, popularity, this essence which made them so awfully worth craving for. I never understood this, I only wanted. More and more. Wanted things that are practically useless. And I keep on wanting. Foolish me.

Maybe I always underestimated myself. When I talked to friends in Junior High about how I sometimes felt left out and unwanted (well, like an outcast) they just shook their heads, not believing what they heard. They assured me that I've always been one of those cool kids, one of the untouchable ones. But how? How could popularity feel like being left outside in the pityless rain? I've rarely been invited to their parties, other events, whatever. Me, popular? Did I have such an air of untouchablity that people were literally afraid of calling me to ask me out to the movies? To cool for my own good? I fail to understand this logic.

Truth be told, I've never been unknown in the schools I've been. During Junior High, I've built myself a schoolwide reputation as someone who can draw and also as someone who could lie to teachers without blinking an eye. Not to mention my (then-) potty-mouth, which in turn earned me my first friends who were significantly older than me. People both hated and loved my shit-mouth. Always did and it seems like they always will, haha.

These days, while still sometimes wanting a huge set of friends to call my own, I've definitly settled for a small, yet tight group of friends. People I can trust. I still am not one of the popular ones... I think so at least. I'm such a shy kid. Introverted. I don't reach out enough for other people. Afraid to talk up to anyone. Never chatted up someone in clubs, bars, etc. Sometimes I have to force myself to do so. I try to shed this persona. I want to experience freedom. I know that I have this potential. It's time that I learn how to use it.

Some help on the way would be good though...

And now you know way too much 'bout me. Shame on you. ;)

Feeling sketchy

2005-07-24T23:25:00.000+02:00

Cause I've posted too much junk lately over the past few weeks (I know... too filthy and too little of it) and also cause noone here has seen my drawings, like, ever, I wanna post some stuff I did yesterday before going to bed.

I know... 2 of them only have one eye, but I'm just too lazy when doing a quick sketch... And quick they are, I whipped these onto paper last night in ~10-15 minutes.*coughbragbragcough*

Btw, the 3rd girl wears a tee with the favorite user name I had over the past few years: Street a Licous. At first I wanted to use Ghettofabulous cause it's a fashionforum, but then decided for Street a Licious, cause it was totally unused and I never heard that term before...

I think it sounds hot though...

I'ma be da Street á Licious! Yo!

A Poem

2005-07-18T20:53:00.000+02:00

"Stop making me blush" says Kiks, all crimson red,
"else you will never, get this fine ass to bed."

"With a compliment here, and a compliment there,
I won't get boozed up, to be lead to your lair."

"Got to persuade me, once in a while,
don't overdo it, that just ain't my style"

"If you want this cherry, you gotta show,
that you are much more, than just a hot 'mo"

"You ought to be tender, cause I ain't no fool,
a fuck on the first date? No that ain't cool"

"Try to intrigue me, with Caipi's and talk,
and before you know it, we gonna walk,"

"into the bathroom or out of the club,
with this magic tongue of mine, I sure won't be snubbed."

"Driving you crazy, controlling your will,
you'll taste an explosion, both wild and still."

"Know you wanna pop, it sure is on your mind,
but don't you mistake me, for one of those those kinds."

"Finger that pucker, open it up,
lick down my back and show me what's up"

"Make me scream out, the stud that you be,
But until you win my heart, it's all your fantasy."

Oh my.... now, seriously, I DO sound like a horrible tease, right? I don't think this will stay up for too long online... somehow, it's a tad bit embarrasing... even for me!

Eeeek! XD XD XD

2005-07-18T14:03:00.000+02:00

Yes, I admit it. I finished Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince today. I've been to this stupid midnite release party thingie on Friday/Saturday because I wanted to be amongst the first people to lay hand on this piece of literature. Oh yeah, I'm desperate like this.

I couldn't start reading immediatly, or on Saturday, because I got on several guest lists of some funky clubs in Vienna, and disappointing friend is SO not good. My cousine visited me after a long time again, so I had to spend thwe whole saturday with her in some great fusion food bistro. Had Sashimi Salad and Seafood Risotto. I know, i'm on a seafood trip. Whatever.

So, yesterday, after getting up at around 2PM, I started reading, I read, read, read, went to sleep at 3AM, got up today at noon, and finished it just now. Fast reader, huh?

I don't want to spoil anything, in case there are readers who are reading it right now, but something left me TOTALLY unsatisfied. There was a certain degree of "blandness" in it, which is hard to describe. There's no real tension building up throughout the book. Things seem to be yanked it place. I can only hope J.K. Rowling delivers the goodies in the last(?) installment of this wretched but oh so addictive Harry Potter series.

Problem is, I'll have to wait yet another 2-3 years. I'm gonna be so old by then... 21-22... I'm gonna be middle-aged in gay years. Ugh... n'est pas bon. No, est terrible.

Nature

2005-07-15T12:59:00.000+02:00

I hate it...

Don't get me wrong... erm, at least not too wrong. Watching the landscape of the alps, with those mountains nearly as old as the world, those lush green patches of forests, those crystal clear lakes... Nature IS beautiful...

But I just love, LOVE to fuss around while climbing up those hills, to get a better view of the countryside of the country I grew up in. I don't say that it's my homecountry, fatherland, because neither China nor Austria is... I see myself as a worldcitizen... and I will only call one place home...

Which will be the place where my heart decides to settle in.

Well, that's not the reason I blog today though (after, like, AGES!... a whole week! What would that be in gay-time?)

Today in the morning, while showering, I realized that there was something small and dark in my armpits. It hurt. It looked gross. Went to the doctor immediatly (I haven't had breakfast yet and it's 1:00 PM!). Turned out to be a tick. Ew. Had him pull it out. Desinfected the area. Nearly died. Realized that I haven't been vaccinated for nearly 10 years, because I never had the time to do so. Died again.

No, I'm serious now. I don't know if my body is still immune against those viruses/bacterias/very evil tiny bestiality loving dead corpse fuckers. In case I'm not, I will die in *look-at-watch-&-calender* the next few weeks.

I think I'll have some go go's, oh what the hell, I'll have the Chippendales strip at my funeral. And I still need to get laid! Holy Ish.... where do I get the time for all that?

Being 19, virgin & a hopeless romantic is not the best circumstance to die in... Oh well

Now, what's so good about nature when you get killed my some ticks when you're out in it? Hella, I haven't even been close to a forest/park/plant housing environment in the past week! Fuck nature.... and now I'm screwed!

Day Two: Firenze ~Slowing Down In Santas Crotch~

2005-07-09T11:43:00.000+02:00

Our second wasn't as sightpacked as the first one. Basically we visited 3 sights: A church on top of a hill which name I was never properly told, then came Santa Croce (it's pronounced as "Santa Crotche"... thats why I kept on saying Santas Crotch) and in the late afternoon we went to Fiesole... some kind of outskirt of Florence, with a very pretty view. But you'll see most of this day anyways...

The day started off with some great hangovers (from the previous night of illegal partying at a rather boring, american college jock filled club. Well, it was boring, but the guys were cute. You know how I love clean cut american guys...), a disgusting breakfast at our hostel (A dead bug was found in a basket filled with bread. Now you try to enjoy that breakfast!) and yet another try at the Uffizis (which turned out to be closed on mondays).

So off on the hill we went. Actually, it wasn't such hard hike. But the steepness + 30°C + the sun shining on my black hair directly = feeling like I went up the whole Mount Everest. I was sweating in rivers! My tiredness was met with YET more stairs. How did my teachers say? "Cheer Up Kiki!" Yay, walking up the Everest of Florence with a pair of Havaianas is fun. Capitalize that! FUN!

At least the church was pretty. And the inside was reasonably cooler than the outside. After some small business talk with the owner of all dem churches, I tried to cool myself down. I went so far to hug the marble pillars, because they really were the coolest thing around! A friend came up to me and said that it seemed pretty close to blasphemy... yeah, just because I try to cool down. I can only say that the Lord wouldn't keep those pillars cold if they should never be used to cool someone down... yup, that's my take on faith, haha.

I couldn't take any pictures because I was too tired to do anything than accusing my teachers of trying to kill most of the students off by exhaustion...

Anyways, after spending close to an hour in this place, we went down to town again, heading to Santa Croce. I couldn't see a lot of the interior of the church becasue of renovation work that was done. But the outside was pretty.

Me really likes this statue because of the expression in her face...

The whole thing

Afterwards, we were free to roam around town to grab something to eat. Again, price shock! Pasta: 9 Euros, Pizza Margarita: 6 Euros, a menu at McDonalds: 7 Euros It wasn't so much more than in Vienna (2-3 bucks more) but still... we were totally not used to such prices. Overcharging par excellence.

So, after some high priced food, some good nap we went out to take the bus out to Fiesole. The view there was very beautiful and very typical Tuscanny.

And let a picture of your gracious yet graciously ungraceful host conclude this entry for now...

A few more pics of Day Two soon!

Bad Puppy

2005-07-07T09:17:00.000+02:00

I know... I haven't updated in AGES! I'm so sorry... I really am a bad puppy. Spank me... hard! *g*

I was too busy doing some sweet nothings in my first week of summer vacations. Lying around, drinking homemade iced tea, eating some sashimi, getting my whole torso to hurt like fuck (NO! It's not what you think. I'm still a sweet'n'innocent virgin... okay, cut the sweet'n'innocent, replace with fuck-craving) going to the movies. Not alone though. Watching "War Of The Worlds" on one's own would be SO boring...

By the way, "War Of The Worlds" is a great movie. Action, feelings, humour, and some weird ending... I mean, I know nothing about Biochemistry, so someone please tell me how it could come so far. Anyways, watch it if you can. You won't be sorry!

Anyways, I'll upload the photos from the second day of Florence today, that means the blog entry will be published tomorrow.

And... yes daddy, you may spank me again ;) (Oh, I love that, hehe)

Day One: Firenze ~Sightseeing Marathon~

2005-06-29T23:33:00.000+02:00

On Sunday morning, we arrived in Florence, after an evening of fun, tucked-away-from-the-teacher alcohol (90% Absolut and 10% Orange Juice = Nail polish remover with some kinda citrus taste), some drunk charade (I had "Particle Accelerator"... you have a go on that while you're tipsy) but way, WAY too little sleep. We all realized that too late though, so we could hardly do anything against it.

I also took some pix of a very good friend of mine, we'll call her Nicotina for now (which in turn is a real nickname I gave her... but its a bit of a long story and doesn't fit here)

It's blurry cuz my camera denies to make sharp pix w/o flash, and we wanted to use that blue light on the train. She looks evil, right? So fetch!

So, after all that on-train boozing, we finally arrived in Florence/Firenze.

After schlepping myself to death because I foolishly went there with a normal sports bag, filled with too little clothes for that stay (I haven't planned on changing at least 3 times a day because of the heat! 40°C! Urgh!) and totally inappropiate shoes (a pair of orange Nike Librettos and Hilfiger Loafers. In the end, even my Havaianas seemed too much at those temperatures), we arrived at our downtown **hotel, dropped our bags and went straight out again to see some sights before the other tourists would awake and crowd those Piazas.

First thing, we went to see the famous dome, Il Duomo.

On our way....

Arrival

The front

Vis a vis was the Baptistry, with the...

Doors to Paradise.

After overcharging us with an entrace fee of 2.50 Euros, we were able to get inside.

Pretty? Yes. Impressive? Yes. Worth the 2.50 Euros? Hella no!

Afterwards, we went to La Piaza Di Signora, with a lot of different statues, including a copy of David.

Nicotina took a pic of me in front of a Neptune well. Gosh, I look bloated...

I also spotted a horse which presumably lived off coffee beans.

Next stop: Ponte Vecchio. A bridge with shops and small apartments. My cousine was raving about it being awesome, but... well... awesome?

I liked the view off the bridge though.

After crossing the bridge, we went stright to the Piti Palace, which was where the Medici, the old royal family of the Tuscanny, lived.

Me again. This time with Nicotina. Still bloated. If you still find me cute, you gotta stop reading this blog while you're drunk...

The Gardens of Boboli.

More Boboli Gardens

More palace pics

Nicotina (with me in her glasses' reflection)

.....Me likes that one, hehe...

Okay, on with my neverending tour through Florence!

So, after visiting the Gardens, we finally, FINALLY made our way back to the hotel to shower and freshen up a bit. Most people used the time to nap, I went out to explore a bit of the town on my own.

First Shock: There was no Starbucks! No Frappucinos or other beverages which names I'd know by name! Hella, I believed that every bigger city in this world would have at least one Starbucks, especially because of the

Second Shock: The town was overflooded by americans! My ears may not be trained, but there where definitly tons of Californian Seniors. Surprising, given the fact that neither the flight nor Europe is cheap. Most of them kids looked like they where picked right outta Newport Beach from The O.C. and left wandering in Florence on their own. Fuck, those Cali kids are really gonna populate the whole globe, huh?

Third Shock: The prices! My gawddarn Fuchs! 3 Euros for a slice of Pizza? 2 Euros - 3 Euros for a 1,5 liter bottle of water? Another 2 Euros for a single scoop of ice-cream, which by no means was the same as my beloved Haägen Dasz? The overcharging in Florence seemed to be a running joke during the whole stay. A BAD joke. Sometimes I was simply wondering why the people didn't simply take my wallet and take out all the money they wanted...

After my "Tour de Heartbeat-stopping-shocks", our teachers decided to treat us to something special. Namely, Gli Uffizi which houses the famous Botticelli paintings of Venus and Primavera. One look at the queue outside (I asked a tourist at the front on how long he waited. He said at least 2 hours. I needed no more convincing that I simply didn't feel like waiting for 2 hours!) and we were on our way to the Galleria dell'Accademia, which had a more reasonable waiting line outside (40 minutes. We all need to compromise sometimes...).

Inside, David was waiting for us to look at his great physics.

The original is quite impressive from up close, but never being the type of person who's after what everyone's after, I went around the museum to look at different pictures. I was especially interested on how those paintings were restored. There was a huge painting, showing Eve and Maria, symbolizing the woman who led mankind into sins and the woman who was without sin and gave birth to a child without sins. That religious part wasn't half as interesting as the fact that Eve was later covered up, making her wear a fur coat. The original state was restored during restauration, showing off a beautiful back.

Too bad I couldn't snap pictures inside and can't remember the painters name...

So, in fact we ran through 7 sights on one day. Quite a lot. Nice? Yeah, but I wouldn't recommend too many sights on day. Information overflow, ya know?

Tune in tomorrow, when I tell everyting about visiting Santa's Crotch!

Bon Giorno

2005-06-29T15:12:00.000+02:00

I'm back! After a total of 4 days in Florence/Firenze, I'm back in Austria and incredibly tired. We went to see tons 'n' tons of cultural shi-at and in retrospect it has to be said that it wasn't bad... Maybe some things, but most of it was pretty good.

I'll fill you in on my stay on a daily basis, so there is no information-overflow. I mean, would you really like to sit for at least half an hour for one single blog entry?

Besides, I snapped quite some pix, which need cropping and editing. I'll fill you in soon 'nuff ;) .

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

2005-06-24T16:18:00.000+02:00

Are the Shi-At!

Especially after being ditched at a date. I mean, not even showing up? That's just so rude... Hella, just have the decency to try and talk with me? I can't be so bad, both outside AND inside. Or, at least, TELL me I'm hideous and downright insulting to your ego.

I would do the same to you!

Ugh... Men, trouble making men... one guy didn't show up to not only one, but two dates, only to send me a text message afterwards to tell me that he was there but didn't dare talking to me and that I'm "cute, and a pretty boy". Pretty, huh? Urgh, I hate pretty boys! Don't tell me I'm a pretty boy!!! And then, he kept on sending me messages, first asking me if he may fuck my ass (My reply:"Erm, no? I don't let anyone fuck me!), only to send me a second one, asking me if I'd be willing to suck his cock then...

Yeah, right.... *ts*

We guys should be ashamed of us... only thinking about the next trick... shame on us, shame on us, shame on us.

And shame, because we do everything just to be fancied by the guys who ditched us. Shame, shame, shame. On me too, cause I decided to pull on my training plan, upping the amounts of miles I run, exercises of Pilates I do and amounts of crunches I do.

But noone's getting between me and my Reese's. Noone. No, not even you hottie!

(Btw, I'm seriously looking for exercises for my lower stomach muscles. Like, ones that really harden them. Tell me all you know!)

Color Matters

2005-06-22T22:32:00.001+02:00

Today, a remark from my cousine, who btw I love love love, but I'd never tell her in the face, triggered some thoughts in me. As I was mentioning an upcoming performace by Lauryn Hill (you know, that girl from the Fugees? Who had a solo debut so good that it bordered on perfect?), my cousine, a true music fan, just like me, said that Lauryn Hill was dead to her, for she has said some racist remarks.

Like:"I'd rather kill a white baby before I'd kill a bee."

Or:"I would have never made music if I'd knew that so many white people bought it."

Erm, like, hello?

This is just plain sad. I mean, what the fuck? Yes, I wrote it out loud. No "WTF" but the real thing, What The Fuck.

Shocked as I was, I talked with another huge Lauryn Hill fan about those remarks. All that she, an egyptian girl, said was that Lauryn was right.

*cough* Now, really, HELLO??? My "What The Fuck" turned into a "What The Doggieass mounting Fuck". How could she think that Lauryn was right? After all, Egyptian girl, lets call her B., was supposed to be one of the more liberal ones, nevermind her homophobic attitude.

Only other thing that B. said was that black/african people had any right in thinking so, because the white people had done so much harm in the past to their continent and still do.

Yeah, but most of it was like, 150 years ago...

You know, I find it hard to understand how hatred can last for so long. Nowadays, everyone should know that an action will ultimatly trigger a reaction. White people hating the minorities will simply result in minorities hating white people. Simple, eh?

Pity it's not simple enough for most people to understand.

As an example, I could take Israel. Til now, they keep on blaming the jews for their bad luck and simply bad everything. But what for? Only to show the face of the victims while they try to kick the palestiniens' ass.

Weird example, I know... but somehow it fits into this scheme of tagged along hatred.

Fuck! I so wanna write "Millions of somebodies have to step out of this circle of hatred" but I do realize that it sounds hella preachy. And I am by no means preachy.

Starcrossed

2005-06-21T17:22:00.000+02:00

Oh my. This was really one of the sweetest, saddest, most moving and most beautiful movies I've seen. I don't wanna spoil anything. Let's keep it with my description.

You can watch it by left-clicking the pic or download it by right-clicking and choosing "Save As..."

James Burkhammer, the man behind the movie, is currently working on a feature length version of it. I can only hope he changes the ending, cause I wept for hours...

SO SAD!!!!!

(But one of the main characters, Darren, played by J.B. Ghuman Jr (1)(2) is such a cutie!!! Pity that he is straight. I mean, what's up with all those gay-for-pay actors? First, they get one all heated up, and the next thing you know, they turn out to have a girlfriend of at least 3 years! And whoever says that all good men are gay is SOOO wrong! A lot of the times, it's the girls who get the goodies. And I mean the really, REALLY hot goodies!)

SHRIEK!!!!!

2005-06-19T16:41:00.000+02:00

Last week, something terrible happened, something SO BAD that I thought that it would never happen to me... at least, too soon.

As I was sitting on the bus with a friend on my way home, a guy went on, now hold onto something, Wearing. Exactly. The. Same. Shirt.

*AAAAHHHHHH*

I know, right? So bad! It's not like, something uni-colored that you can get everywhere. It had a distinctive stripes-pattern, alternating between bordeaux red, gray, black and white, really recognizable. I mean, it's one thing if I see someone wearing the same pair of jeans, big deal. Same logoless tee? No problem. But wearing a shirt which was sold at H&M and has a distinctive look? Oh no buddy, you gotta be joking.

I've been spared from such experiences quite a lot. It only happened like, twice before, both times with stylish people. Having stylish people wearing the same thing you do, can boost your self-confidence (maybe while downgrading theirs'). But seeing a SCHLUBB wearing the same shirt? Kill me please.

*Sigh*

Looks like I gotta stop buying clothes at easily accesible departmentstores and go for Skate Shops and Designer Boutiques again. That's also one reason why I like buying clothes in China. Noone gets it here in the western world! Skate shops only cater to skaters, which in turn are a relatively small crowd. Plus, skater brands, like my favourites éS and Circa and DC, change their tee-shirt collections quite often. The worst thing ever, is to show up at a prom with someone wearing the same. This happened to a friend of mine. And not only one girl was wearing the same dress. But two. TWO! Yes, as in One, Two. She was so shocked!!! As if I haven't told her before that she shouldn't buy a prom dress, of all things(!!!), in a typical teenage girl store.

Honestly... stylishness is, in some way, a gay man's burden.

Update

2005-06-17T19:36:00.000+02:00

It seems like an eternity ever since I updated. But I wasn't all me this week. Too little work, y'know? Summertime is approaching, tests are all done and I PASSED THIS FUCKINIG YEAR!!! It's a first since the whole highschool. Junior High doesn't count, but ever since I've been in highschool, I always had an autumn exam which I either passed or not (Passed: 2, Failed: 2) Maybe it's just a way to prove my stupidity, but during the past two years I started accepting what everyone thought of me.

You see, most people (well, nearly all people) think that I'm a very intelligent little bugger, who's just too lazy to get any constructive work done. And it's true! Please forgive if it sounded too narcistic. God knows I'm not as narcistic as I may seem. But the problem is that I really have been too lazy in the past 12 years to get any constructive work done, and now, in my final year of school, being a senior (I guess... I know nearly nothing about the american system), I'm really gonna try to work my best. Its not much, I don't have to near die like I always do in late June. A tiny bit of work, a bit more effort and I can be one of the best students in class/school. Seriously! I'm tired of seeing myself as potentially unused potential. I need to potently use my potential. And once again, Potent, just because it sounds so weird. Haha.

Else, I got nothing really to blog about. Life in general is pleasant, but boring. We spend most of the time sleeping in the classroom now, with a cool breeze coming trough the windows. I continue flirting with Water Polo Hunk(WPH). He's hot. I got to touch his chest, biceps and buttocks. Felt nice. I'll deepen this whole thing next week when we're in Florence, Italy. Who knows. The weirdest things can happen while travelling with the class. He's really a nice boy. Closeted, yes, but my tongue will lure him out of it when we're alone while being in Italy. Yes, my tongue works miracles. Extra-manoeuvrable tip. Nicely textured. You'll figure it out when we meet ;)

On the other hand, I also picked up my lil' flirt with Brazilian Hottie(BH). I felt that things could possibly cool down, so I had to show my nice side again, especially now that his girlfriend isn't in school anymore, for she graduated.

I'm wondering, if a girlfriend (in BH's case) or a girl who's hot about a guy (in WPH's case) gives you evil stares, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Cuz, trust me, if looks could kill, I'd look like a Mortal Kombat chara after a fatality.

And now, I'm getting pretty for a graduation party, sans cute guys. Well, you can't have everything, right? RIGHT???

WRONG! If you work on the things that make you happy hard enough, you CAN have everything. My motto. For this period at least.

Get some good cock n booty in my name this weekend, a'ight? And pussy, in case you're a lesbo or hetero. Or Bi, like moi. Freedom of choice, that's all I'm saying.

Btw, I just had a date with girl who was looking like the redhaired Lindsay Lohan. But, like, WAY better. And she's got such a cute irish accent! *Drool* Maybe not wifey quality, but still great for some quality time. Let's say, I'm training my tongue. So YOU can have all the fun when we meet someday ;)

Edit: I changed the title. Please tell if you got problem displaying the japanese characters. It means "It's Summertime!!" and altough I originally wanted to write a whole new post about it, it seemed too little to really write about.

Please, also change the title on the links of your blog, if you're linking to me, to either ~Kiks~, ~Kiksta~ or ~Kiksta~イッツサマータイム!!

Thanks a bunch. *Mwah*

Boredom...

2005-06-13T00:31:00.000+02:00

leads to some quick snapshots of me with my new, and shorter hairdo. I'm for real! THAT is short for me! Just yesterday I still had more than 5 inches of hair. I can only hope my hair grows fastly into its old, surfer shag-ish, shape.

Remind me never to go to this particular hairdresser again.

Tell me which one your favorite is...I'm in the mood for a new blogger pic =D

One w/o glasses, while checking on my pod:

And that's about it!!! Originally, I took more than that, but I'm incredibly picky about my pics. And on one pic, the glasses make me look weird. I know, so narcistic! So what, I don't give a damn! Haha ;)

Sweet dreams! Kiksta's tired!

Almost Done!

2005-06-10T11:55:00.000+02:00

Yay! I passed my maths exam! With a fucking B!!! Yeah, a B!!! Choke on that, sucker!!!

Else, I'm screwing the portfolio, the physics exam will have to be done, but with the maths exam out of the way, everything ain't that hard anymore...

*Phew* Life's good! Sometimes, at least. But right now, it's damn sweet... maybe also becuz Water Polo Hunk just took off his leather jacket while sitting next to me... He can't read what I wrote here, btw... hehe

OH! YEAH!

Add Me

2005-06-07T16:24:00.000+02:00

Can you guys imagine the work a student needs to do at the end of a schoolyear? You can't? Hm, neither can I.

:P

Still, this week is a bitch. No, a cheap whorehouse, where every day is another cheap whore who can't wait to beat me til I'm bloody and rob me off my sanity. Yeah, that'd put it well.

I got to

Start and finish a portfolio about Educating Rita

Start and finish a presenation about Brunei for Geography

Write tons and tons of german homeexercises to get a positive grade

Learn for my final oral maths exam, which will determine my near future. It's on friday. I'm dead.

Learn for my final written physics exam. See above.

Try to stay sane. Fat chance here.

Finalize fashion sketches for an oncoming fashion photoshoot.

Keep my mind off strangling myself, injecting intraveneous caffein or heroin, sniffing a line of columbian coke, listening to hardcore techno, or anything else selfdestructive.

Trust me, at these times you DON'T want to go to highschool, how oh so wonderful your memories may be.

I plan to shop til I drop after this two weeks. So keep on clicking on those google ads! Last time I checked, Diane (Luv ya gURL)was the only one to click. Do me favour, help me earn money which I can mindlessly spend on overpriced shoes and jeans. =D (Just as a tip, when you use Firefox or Opera, just open those windows in the background before you close the program. Like this, all the windows will be closed at the same time!)

PS: I'm giving away handjobs/blowjobs for good portfolios, depending on the quality. =D I hate portfolio work... but love other things *g*

Jonapod!

2005-06-04T13:05:00.000+02:00

....which, in hungarian, means Hello. Or at least something like it... didn't learn too much.

Howdy! J'ai retourné. This trip wasn't as crazy as I thought/hoped/prayed it to be, but it was nice 'nuff.

Hosts: Really friendly, warmhearted and charming. Maybe a bit overprepared, because they seemed to know the drill of holding such meetings. There was basically no chaos. Some of their resolutions that were 4 pages long. I didn't even come up with 1. Most of them knew the laws of human rights of the country they were representing. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing there.

Town: Beautiful. On our first night, while on a small sightseeing tour, I was totally impressed by the hungarian Parlament. It's like, a big castle in the middle of a hill. Trees and darkness all around it. The building itself was nicely illuminated (orangy light). One had the impression that the building basically "came" out of the darkness surrounding it. I'll post some pics when my friends have theirs developed (cuz I forgot my Sony Cam. Really, I always forget at least one thing whenever I go somewhere!)And the style of the building totally suited my taste. I would like to move there, but given the fact that I understand no hungarian, I see no reason in doing so. In overall, it's a very pretty town, but the outskirts are more *Eh*... lots of industrial looking buildings, everything looking old and worn out. Not too much of a pretty sight.

Food: A joke. Basically, the school that was hosting this Model United Nations Meeting was supposed to feed us. But imagine our shock when we figured out on our first day, that lunch basically was Liptauer(some paprika bread spread) and mayonnaise, rolled on either slices of some hungarian sausage or cheese. Not to mention, eggs filled with some brownish, tasteless cream and the bread rolls, which were as hard as rock. *UGH*EW* The so-called "Formal Dinner" consisted of a piece of lukewarm, deepfried chicken filet, rice that wasn't cooked thoroughly enough, potatoes w/o taste and two pickles..... yeah, go on, formal my ass.

In the end, we were basically forced to eat at some fast food chain. We didn't even had time to eat properly at a hungarian restaurant. If I would go back, the first thing I'd do, would be eating at a nice restaurant. Maybe even with someone nice ;)

Entertainment: O.....kay. Not too bad. On our first night out, we went to some underground club, called "Dark Forest - Table-soccer and Dance Club"... Yeah, weird enough. And we got molested. My friend, Sarah, got touched all over by some ugly and slim drunk, while I was groped by some ugly and fat drunk. She was feeling offended, so was I. I mean, how the fuck??? WHAT the fuck??? Noone lameass drunk is groping me. Cuteass drunk, yeah, maybe, but no lameass drunk. Later on, she was still in some kinda shock, but i could calm her down...

The second and last night was better... in ways. The bad? We had to walk there, after walking the whole day. I felt like I was going back to Vienna on foot. But in the end, it payed of, cuz that bar had a stipper pole *g* Yeah, you're thinking right. I was dancing on that pole. Two songs, "Get Busy" by Sean Paul and "Lose My Breath" by Destiny's Child. Up and down the pole, up and down my ass. Fun!

Guys: Weird. Every time a guy caught my eye, it turned out that this guy was actually an american. I SO got a thing for a cute "all american guy".

Guy on the subway: Very cute american tourist, who winked at me.

Guy in school: Californian exchange student, very dark haired, very handsome, very watching me on the pole.

Guy on tram: Presumably another american tourist (I think at least. He looked very much like those college guys who travel Europe)

East-European guys are not really my thing, because they are too hard featured. I don't really like that too much.

Now, that was my trip to Budapest in words. Next week, I should be able to describe my trip in pictures. Hopefully....

Basically, I'd like to do Budapest again, but next time, with some more actual friends and someone to make out with on the stairs up to the hill of Buda =D

Gold Diggin' Ambitions

2005-06-01T02:42:00.000+02:00

As you can see, I've installed a google Ad thingie. Somewhere down there... scroll down, yeah, a lil' bit more, BINGO! there it is!

Click on some if you have time, ya? I'm totally grateful for it! For Ever!

And remember what people say:

One click on google ads a day
keeps Kiks' money problems away

...at least I learnt it that way, hahahaha ;)

Take care while I'm away! Be bad, naughty, catty, bitchy, drunk and if possible, impregante some people!

In other words: Make Me Proud!

Travelling

2005-05-31T18:59:00.000+02:00

Yeah, tomorrow I'll step on the train with 19 other people from my class and we'll be on our way to hungary. There's still some packing to be done. We're supposed to stage that United Nations meeting properly, but I ain't gonna bring my suits with me! I like suits and totally got a thing for hot men in suits, but there's only a certain degree of seriousness I can put into this thing. C'mon, be honest, it's pathetic! We're supposed to write Resolutions to the problems they have, in the proper UN style. *URGH* I don't even know how it works!!! (If anyone does, please help!) I'm a German member of ECOSOC, a.k.a. I have not a single clue.

Somehow, I can see that this is going to be chaos. Mayhem! Chaotic Mayhem! It can't be too bad.... I hope at least. And even if it turns out to be shit, I can still say that I've been to Budapest. Who knows, maybe I'll even take pictures. Buda as well as Pest are supposed to be quite charming... well, at least I was told so.

I could also check out if the term "Hung"arians applies. Hehe... we'll see, we'll see. Just get me drunk nuff...

One question, are you getting the impression that you can do virtually everything with me when I'm drunk? Because, just so you know, that's So True.

Heat

2005-05-29T21:18:00.000+02:00

With 30°C and no wind worth talking about, I feel like I'm in the desert. Vienna should be glowing from the heat! But, unlike the desert it stays hot here for the whole night. Go figure! 1 and a half months ago I needed a pullover so I wouldn't freeze, now I need an A/C so I can freeze. China's only worse in terms of humidity (90%!!!!!!!!!! KILL ME!!!!!)

Anywho.... I'll have to endure another 3 days of school (chemistry test tomorrow!!! Super Duper Mega Ultra Important!!!!!) and then I'll be on my way to Budapest, Hungary, for 3 days. My school arranged a meeting with, presumably, schools all over Europe, so we can have a fake UNO meeting. Sounds weird huh? We will need to choose a country and represent it, like the members of the UNO would do. They want us to experience how it is to "fight" for our countries interests.

The worst part? The participating schools are all hungarian. Yes, you read it right. Re-read it if you need to. My hopes of meeting some cute british, spanish, scandinavian ( ;) You know who I could mean) or italian guys went *Poof* and I'm stuck with a bunch of hungarians. Don't get me wrong! Hungarians are nice! But I hate to be with people whose language I don't know and can't speak. It leaves me with a feeling of vulnerbility... which I hate.

And sometime after the 16th, I'll be on my way to Florence. Beautiful city, hopefully I'll get some action... you know, the good kind *g* I'll get SO wasted! Alcohol+heat = KU-RAY-ZAY (crazy) Kiks! Add some cute guys and you may get a Virgo-No-Mo Kiks... But thats a HUGE maybe.

Maybe the sun got me talking bullshit tonite, hahaha.

Fix Me

2005-05-27T11:31:00.000+02:00

There's this BEAUTIFUL new Coldplay song called "Fix You" that everyone is raving about although noone has heard it as a clean studio version... yet. The album's release is on the 6th/7th of June and it really surprises me that it hasn't leaked yet. *KIKS-WANTS-THAT-SONG!!!*

Anyhow, just a quick post to let y'all know that I'm still alive, well, barely, but my body functions all still work... erm, wait, gotta check....

......

Yup, they all work. =D

Vienna's got blue sky and temperatures around 29°C now, looks like spring/summer has finally arrived! I SO gotta do some summer clothes shopping, but I neither have time nor money... well, actually I have more time than money...

One question: If I would install a google ads thingie, would you people click on there for me? *making-cute-puppy-eyes* How much do they pay anyways for clicks?

And for the people who still look for a perfect summer cologne:

Higher by Dior

A fresh scent, shining bright like a crystal, illuminated from the inside. Me totally :heart: it.

Allure Homme Sport by Channel

Sweeter and softer than Higher. Fresh, without being hard, but also calming and warming, without being too heated. It's perfect for a chilly summernight, while I would recommend Higher for warmer days and nights.

Be Delicious by DKNY

THIS is/was gonna be my summer cologne. It's a really fruity and fresh one, with the scent of granny smiths. *YUM* I'd say, its an afternoon scent, because it becomes warmer/ woodier (Don't get the wrong idea!) with time. Fuck is, that Alex already bought it, so I kicked it off my list of possible summer colognes *sobsob*
(Note: The version for men is brown. I could only find pix of the for women version. Not that you people walk into a store and look for the green one)

I'd have more recommendations, but for now, I think thats enough. ;)

Have a great day!

WTF?

2005-05-24T23:48:00.000+02:00

Go, check out this shit: http://lagoslive.blogspot.com

Could this possibly remind you of someone else's entry? Mine maybe? Huh? HUH??? I mean, like, HELLO????? What da fuck is that supposed to be?

Call me petty, but I'm raging right now...

Hi everyone.....

2005-05-22T20:20:00.000+02:00

My name is Kiks and I'm a crystal math addict. And, yes, you read right, Math addict. To some extend at least. I don't know about you, but there's a certain thrill at doing such unpleasant tasks like learning for a maths test which could possibly change your whole future life, a test which, thank god, is over. Every time I've been able to find out how a line is crossing/touching a circle, my body sent out some good endorphins, pushing me and making me happy. Yeah, somehow such moments need prescription, or else I'm gonna end up being a perfectionistic bitch, like some girls in my class.

I'm for real!

Those girls tear up their asses to be able to achieve an A. Having a C on the report card, holy shit, how could that ever happen! I'm could never dedicate my life to something that doesn't give me anything back in return. Somehow, I see no sense in it.

And, just if you wonder, no, I don't do drugs. I'm clean... maybe not as sqeakily clean as Daigle's anus before he goes on a date, for I DO drink, but the idea of inhaling smoke is kinda repulsive... to me at least. The same goes for sniffing a line of coke, no matter how clean it is, I want no southamerican powder down my nose, I want some southamerican dick down my throat!Pills? Hm, I have my doubts... but as long as I'm not in the position of HAVING to choose something, I guess I should be on the safe side.

PS: Please, people, comment! Whats so hard about it? There are readers who come at least several times a week but don't comment! Show some love! C'mon!

Illuminationary

2005-05-20T23:36:00.000+02:00

I thought I might present you some quick stuff I did in arts some time ago. We had a go on using printer dye. One spreads the color thinly on a smooth surface (preferably glass) with a roller, take a piece of paper and draws on the paper. The paper then takes on a mirrored image of the thing one drew.

While the other people of my class took a quick shot at drawing over-stylized faces, houses, flowers, etc. I thought that the effect that ink had, would look cool on dark pictures.

My first go, a quick sketch. The letters read "NOW NOW NOW" and "LIFE?"... it turned out to be not as good as I wanted it to be... but yeah, it was my first time, what you expecting. huh?

For my second pic, I decided to sketch properly first on the back of the paper. Actually, I only wanted to include an image of my iPod on there, but thought that my other ideas seemed to be rather tacky and "Ugh" with it (you know, some typical modern artsy stuff, futro/reture stuff). So, while listening to "Gorillaz" new single, "Feel Good, Inc.", I thought of darkness. Night. A guy who runs, while trying to snap a picture. An iPod saying "DANGER". A glipmse of a skyline, with an everpresent "FEEL GOOD INC" Logo. I originally wanted him to run with other people, kinda like a group of people being on the run.

But I decided for a certain feel of loneliness, isolation. Possible danger seems more of a threat, when one is on their own. The billboard says "WHY?" with a sun on the side, kinda imitating those happy billboards, with a big brand logo and some sunshine to represent positive feelings. But, would one ascociate the term "WHY?" with positive feelings? I don't know... maybe..

I only know that this again didn't turn out to be as good as I wanted it to be. I didn't think that the ink would react differently with this type of paper (thicker & harder then the one I drew my first pic on)... For my taste, it stayed too white, while I wented to recreate the feeling of night time. So, in turn, I had to doodle around a bit to create "darkness"... pathetic, I know, right?

I'll try harder next time...

Rain

2005-05-18T21:15:00.000+02:00

I'm feeling a bit down right now. Mental Burnout. Family problems. Personal questions. A major headache. And a loneliness that could take over every second and consume my all.

It's not too fun. This life, I mean. There are constant up and downs. I try to push the ups and suppress the downs. But every now and then, I have to let my downs come up, let them rule my thoughts for a short period of time. I'm afraid that I'd else start to build up a deficit on downs, meaning that I can't control those moments any more and break down all of a sudden.

Just now, at 8:15, I went out into the rain. I ran maybe a mile or two. It came as an impulse. I just pulled the lanyard of my iPod shuffle over my head, zipped up my hoddie, and started to run around the block.

The cars' lights got reflected on the wet pavement. I saw the moonlight slightly shining through the clouds. The city lights coming from not too far away. And I felt the rain softly hitting my face, imitating the tears I refuse to cry. And I ran. Let the cool evening breeze softly carry away my sorrows.

Never looked back.

The Kiksta's New Toy (& Boy)

2005-05-16T17:29:00.000+02:00

Cuz I've been such a nice lil' boy lately (HAHAHAHAHA! Yeah Sure!!!), I recently became a proud owner of one of the ultimate handhelds available:

SONY'S PLAYSTATION PORTABLE(PSP)

It's fucking cool. I got Ridge Racer (with the KAWAII Reiko Nagase!) and Wipeout Pure. This lil' machine rocks! One can watch videos on it, listen to mp3s and load pix on it. Being the hormone bomb that I am (hey! I'm 19! Just fresh out of the deepest depths of puberty!), I already watched several Sean Cody vids on it. Everywhere I want. Cuz that little fucker is super portable. Well, except for public places. Watching two hot guys (namely Patrick & Jeffrey) having a one on one encounter, while sitting in a subway at rush hour doesn't seem to be such a good idea. The moans are audible from far, far away.

Erm... yeah, I think I shared to much here... Digression, digression!!!!!

Anyways, here's a hot rearview of my new toy

And, I wanna introduce you to my (imaginary *sob*) future hubby!

***KYLE***

Ever since I saw him on Wah's Blog, I'm.... I've...I... well, I'm speechless. Haha. But isn't he cute??? Those cute puppy eyes! And he smiles so adorably.

Stupid thing is, that I know nothing about him. Wah doesn't know anything either. I only got his name... *sobsob*

And some more pix ^_^

*Sigh*..... But he's cute, right?
I may be looking for true love, but if THIS guy would offer me a thorough fuck, I definitly wouldn't say no!

Guten "Tag"

2005-05-11T11:34:00.000+02:00

J'étais tagged by famous Chad Fox, a.k.a. PornStar. Due to this, I see myself forced to accept it, happily if I may add. It's quite fun. And while Chad had a good day as a reason for his dirty answers, people who know me should know that I'm always dirty. Yo Soy Pure Filth. HAHA!!!

The Rules:
Pick 5 occupations and complete the sentence.
Add some more occupations.
Pass it on to at least 3 other bloggers.
Have Fun! (That's a rule!)

The List:
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate...(By Teach)
If I could be a servicemember...(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner...(By Blue 944)
If I could be an actor... (By Blue 944)
If I could be an agent...(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer...(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist...(By Stoli)
If I could be a hooker...(By Pollo Loco)
If I could be a crack addict (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a porn star (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a mime (by Garrison)
If I could be a domestic engineer (by Rick)
If I could be a chimney sweep (by laine)
If I could be a masseuse (by laine)
If I could be a taxi driver (by Brian)
If I could be a priest (by Brian)
If I could be a window cleaner (by Grace)
If I could be a gynecologist (by Grace)
If I could be a world leader...(by Scott)
If I could be a healer...(by Scott)
If I could be a proctologist...(by Dave)
If I could be a carpenter...(by Dave)
If I could be a amusement park ride operator... (by Chad)
If I could be the manager of an adult bookstore... (by Chad)
If I could be Pat Benatar... (by Chad)
If I could be a hermit... (by Kiks)
If I could be a social parasite... (by Kiks)
If I could be an X-Man... (by Kiks)
If I could be Britney Spears, Tara Reid, Paris Hilton,
or any other Stupid Spoiled Whore (R)... (by Kiks)

My answers:
If I could be a pornstar, I would call myself Bella Schaller. Bella, because my first stuffed pet was a pink elephant called Bella. I know, so gay. So? And Schaller because its the street in Vienna where I lived when I was little.
Else, I would be a totally versatile fucker. Top, Bottom, Pussy, Boobjobs, Gloryhole, I'll do anything for money. Honestly! I'm a total sellout whore!

If I could be a masseuse, I would always give the customer more than he/she asked for. ^_^ A handjob? Blowjob? Manicure? Pedicure? Blow out? As long as the pay is okay, I'm open for everything. Did I mention I'm a sellout whore?

If I could be the manager of an adult bookstore, I would go bankrupt sooner or later, because the store would be closed nearly all the time because I would be my best customer in the backrooms. Like Brian Kinney said, there's so many more interesting things I could do with my right hand.

If I could be a Stupid Spoiled Whore (R), I would party all day all over the world, puke all over the place, cum all over the guys & gals and be "super-lame" to everybody. Hahahaha! Yeah, that "South Park" episode with Paris Hilton got totally stuck. And like Bebe or any other girly whore said:"Talk to me kosher boy! I wanna twiddle HIS twixy stick"... How the hell could so much girly talk get into an episode of South Park anyways?

If I could be a world leader, I would be a good example for the world. At least, I would try to turn the people's perception and broaden their horizons. Every action that happens, needs a reaction. But if it is possible to alter those actions, by altering the perception of the people, then there would be a different reaction. Perception is the key to success. Changes come with time. And it desperately needs more open leaders, who are able to introduce a change and stand for it.

Ha! Gotcha here, right? Thought I would be all dirty throughout my entry? Take another guess.

Now, this needs to get into circulation. What about Steve who's always so kind to comment and call me cute? And Charlie,from Australia? I wanted to have a proper chat for SO long, but somehow, when I was online on Yahoo! Messenger, you were offline, because of that fucking time difference. Still, I hope you can do me this favor Hm, one more? Wah would be a good choice, but he seems to busy to do these kinda things. Still, he sends me pix of my hubby (who I'll dedicate an entry to soon!), one of the many reasons I like him.

Also Billy, because he's a fucking blast on AIM. And, Toddsta, you up for it?

Visiting Sin City

2005-05-09T22:18:00.000+02:00

Whoa, that movie's HOT!!! True, there's a whole load of EW-age (cut off bodies, gallons of blood, etc.) but the entire thing is so gawdarn stylish, that it shouldn't be too big of a problem. Especially the part "The Big Fat Kill" is hot. Maybe because somewhere inside of me is a Clive Owen fangirl who finds him Oh So Hot. That's HOT! HOT HOT HOT!!! Me likes older dark featured guys XD...

Lolito complex? You bet!

And Jessica Alba is fine too... oh, lets use this word again cuz it's so much fun: HOT! Alba can do me a lapdance anytime she wants! Even though she swings her Lasso quite boringly... I mean, lassoing in slo-mo? Who you kiddin'? Anyways, she still a hot babe.

So, in general, Sin City is a hell of a movie. Film Noir with a lotta EW moments. And you know you like those EW moments, no? Ha, je le sais, there's no way denying it.

And once more cuz it sounds so nice: HOT

Poetism is in the Air......

2005-05-05T22:01:00.000+02:00

In arts we gotta do little poems, somehow Haiku like, which to me, means rather weird. They are called "Elfchen", which both means "little fairies" and "eleven-lings"... weird, huh? Elf means eleven, and thats the sense behind those. Each poem consists of 11 words, none more, none less. We had to use a color as a first word.

My favourites:

Red
Cherry Pop
Taste It Now
Feels Like Pure Bliss
Glob

This one has a certain sexual subtext (I'm so thinking about popping cherries lately, its weird...) My teacher, whose english ain't too top notch didn't understand that cherry and pop reference... maybe also because she's a woman. I just told her a buttload about Cherry Soda/Pop, how its really sweet and tasty... well, you people interpret it yourselves... actually, I wanna know what you think of them. Hit me with your interpretations!

Next:

Brown
Earthly Warmth
Hug Me Now
I Want You To
Float

Turquoise
Tiger's Eye
Mellow Rage Crime
Jump Onto The Roof
Feel

Yellow
Bird gravitates
Don't Leave Us
Freedom Feels Like Loss
Change

Blue
Fake Royality?
Deep Cold Sea
Rush Of Heat Rises
Flee

Dear Queer Folks...

2005-05-04T19:47:00.000+02:00

I love your show. It's so moving, touching, arousing, intelligent, sad, humourous and OH SO CUTE! Your relationship are totally fetch(!) and fabulous!

Emmett: You're the bottom of all bottoms. Your flambuoyancy always makes me smile. Your hunky top of a Drew Boyd is among the hottest piece of manmeat available. Girl, you're simply fabulous. You gotta teach me one day how to take a hard 10 inch up my arse, w/o lube and therefore without screaming out loud of pain. ;)

Michael: How could the world turn without you? You're so proud. And I love every minute of it. There's a great dad in you. Watch after Hunter and Ben. They are great family. Brian will always love you, in his weird way though. There will never be sex involved, but to know that there's a place in his heart should make you more than happy.

Ben: OH! MY! GOD! An intelligent hunk! How the hell did Mike get so lucky? You are the true hunk on QaF. Smart men with hot bods just SO do it for me.*Drool*... totally

Brian: Fuck you. You are a mean bitch. How can you have Justin stringing along for so long? You fucking know you love him. You loved him when he cried because you've been about to leave for NYC. Even before that! And the fact that you nearly lost him, didn't move you enough to confess your feelings to him. His love is unconditional. And I believe that yours is too. You miss him every time you don't see him for some days and find yourself feeling jealous when he walks off with another guy. Still you play that game. You're really stupid...

But you make me believe that love can really change things and people. Love ya.

Through 4 seasons, you became great friends, y'know? All of you. Debbie, with your smartass comments. Justin, with your great mind. Ted, with your ability to change yourself. But it makes me really sad that we're about to part. You know, final season and stuff. It's like loosing friends I've made in the course of.... erm, 2 months, and after 14 weeks or so, I'll never see you again. The only thing that remains is the memory, stored on DVDs and low-res WMV-files. I will miss you. Just like I miss all those other TV shows that moved me. I dunno how, but somehow I've let your totally overacted, exagerated and unrealistic stories touch me and move me.And for this I wanna thank you.

XoXo

Kiks

Quotes

2005-04-28T18:30:00.000+02:00

To entertain you while my school schedule is trying to drain the last drops of energy out of me (it's actually failing... but still, this has been among the most stressful week this year), I decided to share 2 quotes that I personally like/ find funny.

(1) "Friends are people who like you, although they know you"

I found this one while shopping in a gift shop. It was on a card with one of those old b/w picture and I really liked that quote. Maybe it's true. Maybe it exagerates. But it's fun nevertheless.

(2) "I'm only better than you, because you put yourself lower than me"

This one came up while chatting with Jade, my mental twin sister. (Actually she's my haggot, but in general, I'd stay with "mental twin".) We were discussing how some people look at her/me, thinking that we think of ourselves as better people. But it's not true!

There's always rumours around that I'm a totally snobbish asshole, who's arrogant, ignorant and simply a pain in the arse (like some british might say). But everyone who knows me just a little better, knows that I'm not. Neither is Jade. People just like to misunderstand us. So, we came to the conclusion, that they have to think that they are 2nd class people to be able to think of us as 1st class people.

It's not something they do on purpose. But how are you gonna explain that? Why is our selfconfidence something bad? Isn't it because often those people simply WANT our selfconfidence?

And I found a funny one while listening to Mýa's "Everything or Nothing", a song recorded for a 007 Game with the same name.

"What good's the bottom without the top?"

Just had me snicker a lil'... lol, I know, I'm so immature ;).

Human Stupidity Par Excellence

2005-04-25T17:35:00.000+02:00

During the pope election I heard one extremely stupid quote on german TV:

...on the question what was most wanted from the new pope, many people said:"He should bring world peace."...

..........

That's just so stupid. Since when is world peace a single person's responsibility? Don't we all need to work on making this world, maybe not a better, but at least a more liveable world? What do those people wanna do? Sit back and tan while the new pope swings a little magic wand and, voíla!, World Peace?

What the fuck is this world coming to?????

I also read that a lot of people like the new pope because "He looks so nice". Yeah, nice my ass. He doesn't have the aura of the old one. To me, Benedikt looks like an old meanie, who can hardly walk anymore. The fact that he is a really conservative hardliner should make the Anti-LGBT people really happy. And AIDS in the 3rd world? Oh, forget about that, condoms are EVIL! MUHAHAHA! EVIL!

...... yeah sure.

In all honesty, I was hoping for a black pope. There's never been a black pope. Nor a really cute one. That lazy someone above of us should show some tolerance against cute people and black people. Hella, he IS supposed to be the epitome of tolerance.

So show some love!

Ambigious???

2005-04-20T21:43:00.000+02:00

What is David La Chapelle trying to say with that ad? Buy Cox shoes?

It's hard to believe those guys are "only" wrestling. (Look at the bottoms facial expression! They are fuckin' fucking in the gym!!!)

Oh Yeah!!! (well, -ish)

2005-04-19T17:22:00.000+02:00

This's been a fun weekend. After a whole week of work (mind you, this week is just as packed with work. I'm seriously thinking about blowing someone into getting all my work done.), a friend of a friend invited me to a party. Yes, one of those highschool parties. I've been quite drunk, but I maintained a certain degree of soberness to keep me from launching my head into all the girls cleavage. I even discussed cellulite with a very pretty girl while I could hardly stand anymore! Booze, Gange (I don't smoke though), Girls, BBQ, toast with Pesto and vodka orange (Not the type that's sold. More like 60% Russian vodka and 40% orange syrup). So yum!

Nearly as yum as two guys on that party. One of them is a Water Polo Player. Again, So Yum! A body full of young, strong muscles, with a really cute (though twinky-esque) face. His skin is a little rough, his hair is always short (blond, how the hell could I possibly go for blond?) and gelled up. Sparkly eyes... Did I mention his muscled body? *WOOF* Nearly made out with him. NEARLY! If there wasn't some drunk storming into our little hideout (somewhere in the basement.). This guys' been wanting to get hold my ass for so long already.... Oh Yeah!

The other one is a total hottie. He's SO my type. Part Brazilian, part german, he's got that nice toffee colored skin, a swimmers body and some of the sweetest eyes ever. *Sigh* Pity he's got a girlfriend... But hey, he wouldn't have called me several times to ask me when I'd be coming to the party, no? Especially because a friend told me that he (more or less literally) said: "Hey, do you know when Kiks comes? I kinda miss him here." *SO SWEET!!!* Needless to say, this friend had quite an eyebrow raise...

If I could choose between them two? Hm, that'd be hard. They're so different from each other! I want Water Polo Hottie because he's just so sexily build. Except for his jeans (going just til the ankles. I mean, hello!!! This is SO 80's! Bad 80's!), everything physical is totally fine with me. But I'm afraid that he might want more. I don't know if I could get further then just making out. Until now, all I'd want is his body... but I'm tempted by his heart.

Brazilian *Woof* on the other hand, is close to the qualities I seek for in a man. He's smart, articulated and calming. Not to mention funny. He's a lot leaner than Water Polo Hottie. But I like the way his eyes sparkle when we talk. He's just so cute...

Please don't let me make the same mistakes I did with Alex. That is, ignoring him, playing with him, etc. But then again, Alex wasn't faultless either...

Todd's Meme

2005-04-15T15:10:00.000+02:00

Todd is a little needy. And I felt like doing him a little favour. Well, I guess it will stay at such small favour from overseas as answering his meme questions until I get to meet him when he's single. I already told him what I would have in mind, so.... yeah.

Off Topic! Off Topic! Off Topic!

Let's all digress now.

Toddsters Meme, Answered by Kiksta

Which song reminds you of when you worked in a drugstore in high school?
I never worked. Don't get me wrong, it's less my snobbish nature to say that I just won't work, but I've always been too lazy to find some kind of job while I'm still in Highschool.

But I'd go for "Purple Pills" by D12. Never really listened to it, but the name seems to go nicely with the drugstore theme.

What is your saddest memory of being in a cult?
Oh, that's bad. I've never been allowed to wear hoop earings, because Regina said it's her thing. And wednesdays, I always had to wear pink. PINK! Can you believe how ridiculous I look like in pink? That was just not fetch!!!

Oh wait,... am I getting things mixed up now?

What was your most embarrassing moment that happened when lube fell out of your coat pocket?
Actually never. I'm still 80% virgin! HAHAHAHA!

When you were kids, why did you call your little sister "Margarita" instead of her real name?
I think it was just an early sign of my future alcohol addiction, where I basically pay the mortgage of a whole bar, by simply ordering Maker's Mark in buckets.

Erm... then again, I never had a sister.....

What was the strangest thing you ever ate in Africa?
From Todd's comments:

"I've never been to Africa, but i'd have my ass eaten by a hot guy down there...

Would that count?"

Do you ever think about that time you slept with your friend, the gymnast, in high school, and you were both drunk and messed around together?
You mean this one time, when we were in the shower and he used this coconut soap to soap up some other kind of nuts?

Or do you mean that one time, when I showered us two in champagne and licked each other clean of alcohol?

Cause these did never happen. Never!

Do you ever wish you had taken things further?
Even further? I'm a whore already! What's the next thing? Paris Hilton?

And if you mean it relationship wise... I want a man with brains and buns. And not just buns like that gymnast. Seriously, am I Paris?

When was the last time you came home drunk and watched a taped episode of "American Idol" and then decided to watch it backwards too so that the people who performed later got a chance to go first?
Erm... sweetheart? I'm in Europe. I never watched a single episode of "American Idol".

Were you surprised when the judges were just as harsh regardless of the performance order?
Hello? What didn't ya understand?

Wasn't so hard...

Laughing Stock

2005-04-12T21:18:00.000+02:00

*CRY-CRY-CRY-CRY-CRY-CRY-CRY-CRY-CRY*

My iPod headphone broke!!! *CRY*

The left headphone's dead!!!*CRY*

No Stereo music!!!*CRY*

Noone likes me!!!*CRY*

I'm fucking uninteresting to those people!!!*CRY*

.....Shit, my eyeliner runs...

Okay, gotta stop crying. My left iPod headphone's dead. I mean, Apple makes HQ products, but their headphones suck. SUCK FUCKIN COCK! SUCK SUCK SUCK!!!

I won't be spending 40 Bucks on a (for me at least) useless remote and another pair of headphones that die outta nowhere. I'll spend my money on this "beauty"...

Nice, huh? Sony Ex-70. Great bitch. Does my head just the way me likes. Bass heavy, which means my Hip Hop stuff will sound great, but I hope my Jazz n Bossa Nova stuff won't end up sounding like shit.

And I wanna ask you, Wah, Charlie & Sven (Because you are, in general, the only people who comment), should I whore myself out to Blogwise and etc? Does it really help to get more "actual" readers? Not just people who stop by and never come again. Yes, I mean YOU! YOU and YOU and YOU! Oh, wait, not you. But definitly YOU!

Hello World.

2005-04-11T10:11:00.000+02:00

Hi Blog. Hi People. Boy, I didn't update for some time. I got so much shit going on now (it's totally fuckin insane test and exam season!!!) and I also thought it'd be somehow tasteless to write about my recent Jell-O experience after what has happened before. You know, "that" thing. But my teachers told us exactly the way we have to face it with.

The Show Must Go On.

It was a tragedy. It was really very sad. It touched us all.

But it was his life, not ours. We cannot let someone else's death affect us to such a degree. After all, WE live. No matter how tasteless it sounds.

And now, I'm skipping school just so I can blog again. Not to mention doing all the homework I didn't feel like doing. Weirdly, I can only work properly when I'm skipping school, that means, being neither at home nor at school.

Oh, I'm SOO bad...

(Anyone wanna spank me? Haha)

Memento Mori

2005-04-05T19:32:00.000+02:00

Today, on my way to school, I found out that a guy from my school commited suicide. I didn't know him. And to tell the truth, i would have never made an attempt to get to know him. He wasn't in my circle of friends and would have never been. But his death stirred up something in me. Something that, until now, I had every spring since the past few years.

It's my will to live. To look at the sky and feel carefree although I cannot afford to feel carefree. There is family, friends, school. A life. It's something important to me and it shocks me sometimes that I wanted to throw everything away at certain times of my life.

Why would someone commit suicide? Trouble? Stress? Family? It may be a combination of everything. As it also may come as an impulse. I don't wanna say that I understand life. To me, life is a miraculous force, that can drive, lift, destroy, fulfill and overpower people. It's free, yet one has to take care it doesn't fly away. Away from all the stress and the reality that drags people down.

There are two things that kept my life going. Number one is the love of my family and friends. I believe that love and life are bound together to a certain degree. This bond has to be created, it doesn't exist out of itself. It is made out of trust, faith, hope and will. Even if there are hard times, i always know that there will be at least one person who loves me and this one person is enough to keep me living, facing those demons of life. I have seen what a kind of feelings a death of a beloved person can evoke. I wouldn't like my friends to suffer. I'm not that selfish.

The second driving force in me is music. When I'm down, sad, frustrated, I just dance the troubles away, sing my pain out and write my sorrow. Over the years, it has become a solid core in me. It shaped my and guided me. Makes me dream. Feel.Float.

And for the lenght of the song, I can be free. And fly away.

Fell In Love With A Boy...

2005-04-04T20:24:00.000+02:00

Well, he's more a mature man then a boy.

Lalo Schifrin. Forgotten for AGES and now back on my mind and my iPod. The 4 year old Kiks only liked him because the name sounded funny, but I guess that shouldn't matter. What matters is, that Lalo is one of my loves! Of my life! And I only rediscovered him because of The 411's "Teardrops". His music is somewhat swingy, moody but sometimes also very uplifting. The sound has so many facettes and his style heads out in so many directions, just to come back to jazzy core...

Did I mention how much I love him?

Me? Geeksta!

2005-04-01T22:10:00.000+02:00

I'm not into boobs. I never understood the str8 guys and their obsession about boobs. Especially those as huge as overriped watermelons.

But I get weak when it comes to digital boobies. Silicon? No! Polygons? Hella yeah!

Must be the geek inside of me. I don't get hot or something, but I always marvel about on how they could create something like this out of a bunch of codes. Especially if there is an additional code to give them some "realistic" movements. Like, Boob bounceage. Yeah!

I must be bored (and I am)

2005-03-29T21:20:00.000+02:00

Yesterday, I accidently stumbled over some porn on TV. I honestly didn't know how I got to that boring piece of entertainment (it really was). Just boobs all over the screen, while the owners of those melons, pretended to come just by having their nipples tweezed and being thrown up and down violently on some guys lap. C'mon, everyone should know better how to satisfy a woman then just pinching her nipples.

And for your entertainment only, a short transcript of a scene of the film (-ish thing)

Francoise: Oh, Maurice, what are you doing here?

Maurice: I need to see Ariane, we need to talk things out.

Francoise: Oh, didn't your sister, who turned lesbian while making love with our maid, tell you? She died last week.

Maurice: My love is dead? *starts crying* How can this be?

Francoise: Her bed caught fire while she was messing around with my fiancé *starts crying*

Maurice: *in tears* Marcus? How could she betray me with him *sobb, sobb*

Francoise: I feel your pain. *sobb sobb*

Maurice: I gave up my marriage with Antoine just so I could be with Ariane, my true love. I don't know what I should do *tries to run off*

Francoise: Don't! *Holds him back*

*Their eyes meet and we are at the "passionate love-making scene, where Maurice pulls on Francoise's nipples until she screams in agony, pleasure, pain or ecstasy (or just plain boredom)*

So, in conclusion, it has to be said that French porn seems to have loads of text, compared to the american ones (Oh, thank GAWD you two plumbers arrived =>threesome on the bathroom floor). Without the (lame) fuck scenes, this could be sold as a spanish telenovela, with intrigues, deaths, adultery and sex (although we never got to see the guy's crotch, ass, or anything else than the upper body).

In future, I'd rather accidently stumble across porn I accidently downloaded for 2 days on my computer then watch some french porn again.

And for the people who care: Maurice was about to marry Francoise, but his lesbian sister got so jealous that she decided to lure Francoise into her bedroom one day, as a result turning Francoise bi-sexual. Maurice was nearly seduced by the male servant, but it never went further then just stroking each others stomach and kissing of cheeks, because he thought he heard Francoise scream for help (*!LAME!*). He finds his future wife and his sister (who turns out to be his half-sister only) in bed doing #17, The Spreadeagle. But unlike Velma Kelly, Maurice just joined in. This session of passionate nipple twisting concludes this story, taken out of life itself (yeah sure *phew*)

Happy Easter, suckers! =D

2005-03-28T15:32:00.000+02:00

Hey babes! Happy Easter. Right now, I'm preparing a post-Easter Brunch for tomorrow (yes, I know it's only 3:30 PM, but still. As slow as I am, it could take me til wednesday to prepare a brunch that is supposed to be served tomorrow.)

Btw, to anyone who's fond of Jazz: Could you send me versions of "Tenderly"? I'm such a sucker for this song, I'm constantly looking all over the net for more versions. Vocalized if possible, but instrumentals would be just as great. But nothing that is too "New jazz". It's so hectic, I cannot think properly once this stuff comes up on my pod. My e-mail is right there, on the left, under my pic. Gracias a lot!

Luvs n Peace n Joy!

Kiks

Tourist

2005-03-26T20:21:00.000+01:00

Museums are fun. Well, as long as you don't wear leather Converse Sneaker which threathen to kill your small toe.

I've spent the past 2, no wait, 3 days as a tourist in Vienna. Not because I was so bored and felt like it. 2 of my best friends from Linz came with their sisters and a charmin' mexican chicalita. She doesn't look like I would have expected her to. You know, this typical Latina-Look: Dark Hair, Dark Eyes, volumptous body. She was strawberry blonde, blue-eyed, freckled. Only her very well-built body made me remember she was actually a mexican. She's H-O-T.

So, given that special occasion, because my girls from Linz rarely come to Vienna, I was playing Tourist Guide for these days. With them it basically means wandering around town, chattering, singing, starring after cute guys (so kawaii!!) and making catty comments about people we either saw, knew or otherwise knew to despise. In some weird way, I was in fag-heaven.

Except for the part with museums. I mean, don't get me wrong. Museums are good. They are essential for a well-educated mind (at least I was told so). But wearing the wrong pair of shoes can ruin everything. My feet only got comfortable during our many visits to Starbucks were we continued our chattering. One funny topic were people who could fart on command (He got me into this topic). Or how that mexican's dad used to wake everyone up. I love my hags, lol.

Now, the girls went back to Linz, my feet scream for nirvana (the place, not the band) and my head hurts like fuck.

I hope you will all enjoy this weekend. Mine will be spent sleeping, pilates doing and maths learning. GOOD TIMES! RIGHT ON!

Wednesday Prayer

2005-03-23T18:32:00.000+01:00

Forgive me Mr. Atkins for I have sinned.

I had a total of 3 mini baguettes for breakfast, with a whole glass (alright, 1,5) of Nutella spread all over their aromatic and hot surfaces, which stared at me with such intensity, I just had to swallow them whole.

Next came a fresh mini-Ciabatta, filled with sundried tomatoes, fresh tomatoes, genuine Mozzarella, with a home-made lemon-balsamico-oliveoil vinaigrette and some Pesto Genovese dripped all over the Mozza and tomatoes.

At lunch I had a wonderful cream of tomato, with Basil and additional cream. A pack of Tortilla Chips teamed up with it.

While I continued my hunt for the perfect pair of jeans (very low waist, boot cut, price tag under 100 Euros) I made a quick visit to Starbucks where I downed a Curry Chicken Bagel, a slice of Chocolate Cream Cake, which consists of 5% cake and 95% of the thickest and most perverted Chocolate cream, EVER! and a New York Sytle Cheesecake. To top it all off, the barrista made me a Caramel Coffee Frappucino which I would kill for any day. 3/4 parts Coffee, 4 Caramel shots instead of the ordered 2 and totally caramel covered cream, which went into my mouth not 5 second after it landed on my Frappucino.

Someone please remind me to blow this barrista anytime I see him going out at night.

Glow

2005-03-22T21:49:00.000+01:00

"Stick a lightbulb up your ass!"

That was the comment a very gay and very funny friend of mine who lives in Florida, on the question how I could get some facial glow. I was really looking around for a product which could imitate the glow the skin has right after sunbathing. This, "radiatet" glow. You know what I mean?

And all I got from a makeup expert was the advice to let a lightbulb screw me.

Thank you Ale.

If anyone else out there who reads my blog knows a product which makes you look like you've been tanning for hours in the noonsun without actually having done so, please tell me in the comments. I wanna glow, but without the fear of having skin-cancer one day.

Or getting something nasty from a lightbulb. Who knows where it's been around...

Lucky Kiks

2005-03-21T21:07:00.000+01:00

Imagine how horrified I was to find 100 Euros lying on the streets, at 3AM in the morning while walking home from a really funny night out with friends to celebrate my 19th birthday.

You know all those scenes where someone picks up money they find on the open street and then get shot/arrested/anything else that is bad? I was so having one of them moments. As I picked that nice green piece of paper from the street, looked around in total paranoia, excepting some gunshots, screams or some alarm goin' off.

Nothing happened.

Well, looks like those 100 bucks will find yet another owner soon.

On a sidenote: I TOTALLY (well, just a lil' bit) envy Scott because he's got over 20,000 visitors on his blog since he started in January. What do you think? Should I do it too, in hopes of having more people reading this piece of pure genius? I mean, it's not like,-.... Hold on a second, there's something shiny!

Song

2005-03-19T18:43:00.000+01:00

I wanna become a singer. Yeah, I know what you may think: "Stupid gay dream". But I'm quite serious. No, actually I'm totally serious.

Today, while browsing through my old stuff, I found a notebook, containing some lyrics of songs I decided not to write down on my laptop. Lyrics don't land on my laptop as a digital version for several reasons: Some only meant something at a certain, some should never see the living daylight again and some are just sketches, half-songs I had in my head. This one is good, but won't be digitalized because I wouldn't feel well with it:

Unsure (Excerpt)

Whenever you're hugging me, playfully.
Don't know if I should speak cause it feels so good to me.
Trying to catch my attention in whatever you do.
Honestly, I think I would look good with you.

You seem so open, yet defensive to me.
Don't know if it's real, or you're only playing with me.

Chorus:
U make me unsure about the way I feel.
About on how I should deal, with those feelings so real.

I'm unsure about the way you look at me,
the way you're holding me, more precious then air to breathe.

As you see, very corny stuff. It was also directed to A, but like some of you should know, everything went towards "Shit, Fuck, Why me?" so it's better to burn this the next time we have a BBQ.

19!!!!

2005-03-15T14:15:00.000+01:00

Yay. It's my Birthday! Like 50 Cent (I hate that fucker, he's so muscular, it borders on obese!):

It’s ma birthday
We gon’ party like it’s ma birthday
We gon’ sip bacardi like it’s ma birthday
And you know we gon' give ya a fuck
Cuz it's your birthday!

Okay, edited them lyrics a teeny weeny bit. Whatever, I'm 19. Gawddamn 19. Thats like, SO old! I would have never imagined being 19. I grow too fast. Time slips away too fast.

I didn't party yet. I'll be getting drunk and buckwild though in the next week, cuz we're havin' Easter-Holidays (is that like "Spring-Break"?), one of my best friends is coming to Vienna. Destroying braincells with Alcohol (mmhhh, Caipirinhas...with loads of Rum and limes) is always fun. I'm looking forward. (*duh* Who wouldn't?)

I'll update wit pics later.

And now let's sing together! "Happy Birthday To Kiks, Happy Birthday To Kiks, Have A Gawddarn bloody great Birthday!"

LoL. (Yes, I'm crackin myself away. Join in, goddamn it!)

My Esperanto

2005-03-12T22:06:00.000+01:00

Growing up in Austria means that you have to learn at least 3 foreign languages. Because German is taught here as a motherlanguage, English is one of those foreign languages. Later on, at the ages of 13/15, you are obliged to choose from 3 languages, where you have to pick one: French, Italian or Latin. The people who chose a 2nd language when being 13, need to pick a 3rd one: Latin, Spanish, French or Italian. Well, depending on which one you picked at 13, you may not pick that one again (*duh*). We need to take those classes until we graduate.

As a result of this, some friends n I developed some sort of Esperanto. Its a mixture of languages we all know, and mix and match. We interchange, swap, german-ize, french-ize, english-ize and spanish-ize. It's fun.

A Convo would be like that:

K: Hey, weisst du schon wann du kommen kannst?

F: No sé!

K: What do you mean, tu ne sais pas? N'est-ce pas possible!

F: Mais oui, wir stecken bis zum Hals in Arbeit. Diese gawddarn teachers denken wir sind totally underworked.

K: Yeah, Go, show less enthusiams. Wenn ihr die ganze Zeit Smoke in ihre Ärsche blowts, denken die bloss dass ihr beaucoup de temps habts. BUT! No tienes tiempo! And what is more important, no tienes tiempo pour moi.

F: Hola? Wir müssen smoke up their asses blowen, weil wir sonst nicht gescheit graduaten können.

K: Okay, whatever. No creo que es really that importante. Also, parlern wir über was anderes.

F: Fine.

This and more, while maintaining a good/very good/perfect pronounciation. (Except for sometimes, when we switch to some kinda "Arnold-English" *lol*) A friend recently asked me how I can switch between languages at my normal (fast!) talking speed. She wasn't in this whole multi-language thing, so she thought it was pretty remarkable.

I never really thought about it until she mentioned it.

Like Rabbits.....

2005-03-10T19:49:00.000+01:00

Do you see the people, the few people I've linked on the left? A high percentage of them are doing what their body is telling them to, now, at the end of winter (well, at least in most parts of the world). Whether in the bathroom, park, garden, supermarket or bedroom, they are at it. The act of human creation. Well, without the creation of a human. But still. That thing. Sex. Fuck. Being so hot that they might collapse from their passion.

Nice.

And I don't envy them. Them and their bedroom action. I know, you will think stuff like "OMG, this can only be said by a person who is still virgin (ICH!)" or "He doesn't know what he is missing!" or "Is he for real? Not wanting sex???".

And I can say: Yes, this is me. Hopeless romantic, virgin (well, mostly...*sshhh*) and not in the need for sex. Sure, there is the side in me that really, REALLY wants some fucking action goin on. But after I got asked several times by total strangers to have sex with me, I turned away from that whole trick'n'go business, without ever having been there.

I perceive it as normal to want a happy relationship before wanting some cock. Some guys got a three date rule after which they think that sex is alright. After I've done that mistake once, I rethought that whole business.

I want to cook for my man. Pour in some wine for him. Blow out the candles on the table. Take his hand and lead him to the living room couch he prefers. Listen to Marvin Gaye and Ella Fitzgerald. And feel that I'm ready to kiss his forehead.

And ladies? I'm bisexual. Gimme a shot -_^

Sign Of Life

2005-03-09T11:39:00.000+01:00

Hola! I'm not dead! *lol* That should be a reason to be happy, no?

I was totally tired these days. I don't know, but I just didn't feel like sitting on my computer and write. And I like writing. I like maintaining my blog. It's just that I had nothing really to write about and I try not to bore you people. Who are not much, but I think I should have around 3-5 people who regulary type in "kiksta.blogspot.com" in their Opera/Firefox window and hit GO (You shouldn't really use Internet Explorer. It's slow and unsecure)

But I plotted out a certain plan on what to write due to me not experiencing anything too outrageous and therefore good enough for my blog, I'll reach a bit into the past. Travels to China. Funny family occasions. 100 things about me when I feel like I reached a total artistic low. Nothing dirty. Nothing perverted. No, I'm lying.

HAHAHAHAHA!

I'll fill this blog with so much filth that Courtney Love will feel right at home.

But everything in good time. In the next few days, I'll try to get into that whole blogging thing again.

I love y'all!

And don't forget to drop me a line to show some LUV!

Confessions Of A Starbucks Addict

2005-03-02T19:46:00.000+01:00

Just today in the morning, while getting my caffeine/sugar fix, I realized that I've spent at least 40 Euros in the past month on coffee. Well, not really coffee. More a
"Grande Double White Chocolate Mocha"
Sometimes fatfree, sometimes soy, but always with the double amount of White Chocolate syrup (I didn't dare taking triple shots yet).

I always tell myself and everyone around me that when the caffeine doesn't keep me up and awake, the sugar will. Especially since I always have to add sweet'n'lows/sugar so it's sweet enough for me. And while I'm at it, Yes, I totally got a sweet tooth. I just LUV sweet stuff. Especially the caramel Starbucks uses. To be honest, I got fantasies about a Venti Cup, full of that delicious Caramel Sauce, with a little cream on top, that again topped with Caramel... *drool*

Summer is when I spend most of my money on Starbucks. Those Frappucinos are just so fucking worth it. Especially if you order them with "Little Ice", so they are neither too watery nor do they freeze your brain (*ouch*). My summers in town are always spent with either a Venti Caramel Coffee Frappucino with an extra Caramel shot (are you getting an idea of my caramel addiction?) or a Mango Tazo Tea Frappucino, with either a Mint or Vanilla Shot....*drool²*

Last summer in Hong Kong, I had my first Green Tea Cream Frappucino, and lemme tell you, it's SO GOOD! It's even healthy because they use HQ Matcha Tea, which is la creme de la creme of Green Tea. Not to mention that its impossible to survive in China/Asia without something cold to drink, so your body doesn't hyperventilate.

But I do agree that Starbucks in turn is really pricey coffee. The only thing that keeps me from spending more is that the closest Starbucks to my school is 25 minutes away, and the way to it involves a bus ride and a subway ride, not to mention the whole fucking way back. But I do love my ""Grande Double White Chocolate (Sometimes fatfree, sometimes soy) Mocha". And those Frappucinos. And don't even get me started with the Caramel..... (*drool*³ Caramel....)

R.I. - Real Illness

2005-02-28T17:35:00.000+01:00

Remember my post where I said that I faked sickness to skip school for a day of leisure reading and relaxing? Turns out my articifial sickness turned into a real one.

Stuffed nose, hoarse throat, shivers, temperature, drowsiness...

You name it.

I have it.

Fuck is that I gotta go to school tomorrow again, because I just can't miss too many lessons. If there is something I learned in all those years of attending (and not attending) classes, is that when a teacher starts a new topic (mainly in maths), you have to be there the first 5 lessons, or else you are fucked up. And guess what, I already missed 2 of those 5 lessons, so I should hurry and get better by tomorrow.

Sigh.

Off-Topic: Anyone seen the Oscars? Duh, sure everyone has seen the Oscars, its gay peer pressure. Miss Zellweger looked weird, no? That red dress, those broad shoulders, the dark hair and that permanent look of "Please, don't hit me" just don't seem to go together... although that red dress with the hair was HOT.

Talking about HOT, isn't Jake Gyllenhall the HOTness in person? HOT!

Kiksta: Home Alone

2005-02-27T12:47:00.000+01:00

I'm alone at home now. Now, what is a young, healthy (well, despite my cold) and active young man supposed to do when noone is around for at least the next 3 hours?

Exactly, I'm running around at home, wearing one of my mum's fur jackets, her Trouville Bag, and pretend to be a fairy who has an iPod as a wand to clean everything with a simple touch on the surface. The Music Selection goes from "The Sound Of Music" to 50 Cent's new single "Candy Shop", while stopping sometimes at the Chicago and Moulin Rouge Soundtracks.

I already wanted to wear my tightest pair of jeans, but given the fact that right now, the old Pepsi Commercial song of Faith Hill is on and I need to dance AND frantically find a can of Pepsi at home to do a little commercial on my own, it didn't seem to be such a good idea, for I move quite much while dancing.

I honestly don't know what should become of me one day.

WWAAHHHHH!!!!! MUST HAVE! MUST HAVE!

2005-02-26T14:21:00.000+01:00

This is what happens when I spend 2 days without checking iPod Lounge. Apple released 4 reworked iPod minis.

They can pack even more, can satisfy your cravings longer and are even cuter! Just like new boyfriends, lol.

Althought I already have a 20GB iPod, this the iPod mini of my dreams. Isn't it adorably green? Green is THE color this season! Get, Get, Get! The 4GB Version sells for $199 US Dollars, the new 6GB one can be purchased for $249 US Dollars from Apple Computers. Officially they play 18 hours, but tests on iPod Lounge revealed that it's able to play up to 26 hours! 26 hours!!! Go figure!

Is there any Sugahdaddy out there who would like to buy me one of those lil' gadgets? I wouldn't mind all of them. I'd also go for an iPod Shuffle. My classmates don't understand the need of several iPods, but honestly. The normal ones are too heavy for working out & running. Nor are they as fashionable as the mini's... but that's the fag in me talking. Heh.

Carpe Diem

2005-02-24T22:41:00.000+01:00

Carpe Diem : Use The Day (Actually it means "Pick the day"... but yeah, nevermind)

Yesterday, while having a Latte with Sarah and a friend of hers, we came to talk about life. To be honest, it was me who started it, because Sarah lit a cigarette after she told me she quitted for half a year. All my pride towards her stopping to smoke were shattered and lay on the floor of that chic italian Café.

Kiks: Why did you start smoking again? You know it ain't no good for your health.

Sarah: Tell me, do you live today or for tomorrow?

Kiks: Well, 50/50. I can't get myself to think in only one direction. Life itself has to be planned towards the future, but only to be enjoyed in the today.

Sarah: Wow, aren't you a hell of a optimist?

Kiks: Well, aren't you?

Sarah: No, I'm a realist.

K: What is so realistic in killing your lungs?

S: Look, A friend of my parents was a total non-smoker. She just got married, was very happy, got a baby, and all of the sudden she dies of lung cancer. Passive smoking kills you even more then active smoking.

K: But with your kind of "living for today" you only destroy your own future!

S: Who knows if I got a future anyways? I could die any second. Get driven over by a truck. Or die of lung cancer.

K: See? That is exactly what I don't understand. With such a view on life, you're taking away everything close to a future you could possibly have. To me, drugs and booze is not a way to live for the now. It's a major waste of time, money and health.

S: So? What is your point of living for today?

K: Well, mine would be to let my hand sink into any cute guys pants and stick my tongue so deep into his throat that it comes out again in his navel.

S: Yeah? How you wanna know that I won't that?

Sarah's Friend: With who? Your dad?

[Raise of eyebrows, smirk in face, change of topic]

It has to be noted that we are a sick bunch of people, with a sick sense of humour.

A.I. - Artificial Illness

2005-02-24T16:27:00.000+01:00

Vienna tries to lift my mood again. Although it's snowing, the sun shines through which makes the day where I skipped school out of a faked sickness (I'm such a fake hypochondriac *sigh*) a lil' bit better.

Everyone does that, no? Some people skip schook because they are afraid of tests (very common). Some don't feel the urge of going to school because they have better things to do (shopping, phoning around, smoke a bowl). There are also people who resolutely don't go because the idea of school sickens them and they want to "get out of this stupid system". Stupid. HA! They got no idea that school is among the best things that could happen to them. Me, I'm staying at home because I woke up too late. I just love lying around in my bed, with sun rays shining down on me. If I would only wake up with someone I love next to me *sigh*

So, I'm spending the day now reading. The Hours (is Michael Cunningham gay? He's quite cute, although quite old.. well, for me), Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim (Hot Toddy, David Sedaris IS gay! You cannot be the "Gay David Sedaris), Fortysomething (It's such a funny book, I had to lock myself into my room to read it because some parts are so HILARIOUS that I had to laugh for half an hour.) and last but not least, re-read parts of the "Tomorrow When The War Began" Series.

I snatched the series from Alex (a.k.a. the Asshole) because he was lucky nuff to have all of them. At least, I thought so. When I reached the last book (so I thought) I realised that the story continues. Now, I'm stuck in the depths of Australia, with a war going on in the cities, and I don't know how it will go on! The books became such a torrent, sucking me deeper and deeper, until I finished the whole series (so I thought) of 6 books in 6 days. That's right, one day per book. And I don't mean a whole day. More like that little free time I have where I don't need to work for school. Each book has something like 280 pages. And all of them sweet as Hell.

So, do a Kiks: Call in "Sick" for work/school, get some fat free hot chocolate (which you will have to work out later with heaps of Pilates) some low-(or better no-)carbs snacks/sweets and read. Read the whole collection of stories from John Marsden, where a group of teenagers need to survive and fight the war that is going on in their country.

You will not regret it.